There are very few people who have caught my fancy in this life: River Phoenix, Brad Pitt, Dr. Oz, and Pioneer Woman in that order. Oh, and maybe Jason. I guess I should throw him in the mix since I’ve chosen him for the rest of my days.
Since my First Attempt had been a colossal failure, I made a fast trip to OKC to meet one of these obsessions of mine. River is dead, Brad and Mehmet are waaaaayyy famous, so by process of elimination that could only leave PW. Yes, I got to see her, meet her, talk to her, and give her Chex Mix, because I’m a dork that’s why!
I met up with my lovely Aunt Jeanne and we drove over to Barnes and Noble to wait in line. The line wasn’t bad at all, it just went halfway around the store. We sat and drank coffee and had a good visit. It took us one hour to get through, once it started moving.
When we finally made it to the table, PW was convinced that she knew my aunt. I know you. Don’t I know you? She studied her, asked her last name, asked her where she lived. I thought any minute she would take out a knife, cut fingers and become blood sisters with her. Meanwhile, I’m jumping up and down beside her, waving my arms frantically, yelling, But I’m your #1 fan!
Finally she surmised that maybe Jeanne reminded her of the actress Diane Ladd, of who neither of us were familiar. Ree said to google her.
So I did.
This is my Beautiful Aunt.
This is Diane Ladd.
Jeanne asked how she stays so thin eating all that butter, which she gave all the credit to Spanx for helping her out. My mind went completely blank so I gave her a bag of homemade Chex Mix, minus all the nuts because I had eaten them on the drive up. It was her own recipe that I had made the day before, which is probably lying in the trash in the B&N bathroom.
The nuts were the best part anyway.
I was able to untie my tongue to tell her I had driven up from Amarillo. She asked if I was staying the night.
I think she wanted to invite me to supper.
But I had to get back to the man I’ve chosen for the rest of my days.
Oh well, maybe next time.