Journey to the Land of Less is More Mile #2–Emails

This is the year for simplification in my life.  I am working towards uncluttering my surroundings and living with less.  I’m taking baby steps, even though to me they are like miles.  My destination is the Land of Less is More.  It’s my imagined Nirvana where the capital city is Simplicity. 

I spent some time this past week cleaning out my emails.  I’m unsubscribing to all the emails that dominate my inbox and my time.  Instead of just deleting them like I’ve been doing for years now, I’ve been taking a few extra seconds, sometimes minutes, to roll down to the bottom and hit unsubscribe. 

I’ve said good-bye to constant reminders to lose weight and tips for a healthier me.

Adios to ads for 20% off and Last Day Sales.

Sayonara to instructions for a weekend project to build a backyard pergola.

Ciao to Daily recipes for the world’s best chocolate cake.

So long, See ya later, Hasta La Vista, baby.

In cleaning out my emails, however, there are some that I cannot delete.  I’m very sentimental to emails that I receive from people just saying hi.  Not the forwards about what a great friend I am or wishing me well, but a personal note.  This sentementality must be a love language of mine.  I’m tender to letters, cards, and emails that are genuine.  I have kept letters from my grandmother from when I would visit my dad in Oklahoma in the summer and she would write me.  I have a note from my second grade teacher  telling me how much she enjoyed having me in her class.  I realize she gave one to everyone, but it still means something to me.  I save cards from my husband that I know he stood and pored over and even though all he wrote was “love, jason” they still mean the world to me.

I have emails from my dad too.  I’ve saved them all.  As I spent some time going back and reading them, I smiled a bunch.  He never pays much attention to spelling or punctuation.

I thought I’d share a sampling.  Even though you may not know him, being Bob is his job, so listen to him.

About Exercise:

“i’m really enjoying it, although i’m sooo tired by the end of the week. hope i can stay focused and motivated. i kno i’m never going to be small again, but, who wants to be a little old man, then everyone in town would be beating me up.”

On Learning How to Use Email/computer

“hey ang, got your email earlier and just found out how to get back to you.  how ya’all doin’. can’t find the question mark.”

On grandchildren:

“i’m getting awful anxious for little hannah to make her appearance soon, aren’t you?  That little ashlynn is such a little apple dumplin’ aint she?  this grandpaing is getting to be quite a kick.  think i’ll just live forever.”

On pictures he doesn’t want posted on facebook:

“my gosh, angel, lets get rid of that pic of me and you sitting outside your house. it looks like i forgot to p-ut my teeth in or sompin.”

When my brother lost his artificial floating on a raft in the Illinois river:

“i’m so sorry that stan lost his leg. at least he has another one
at home,”

On gangsta talk:

“hey ang, what up, homes?”

On poker (I have no idea what he’s talking about here, except he didn’t win me an inheritance)

“hey girls, i played in a million dollar freeroll tournament yesterday, and
only made one bad play, and it cost me. i was about 2, 800 in chips and we
were down to about 1100 players. i was dealt pocket nines, and bet out for
about 800 bucks. the guy smooth called, and i put him on A-big, or a pretty
good hand like that. over the next two cards we got all our money in the
middle, i turned over the nines and he had aces in the hole. i say i made a
bad play because i led out bettin on the turn and river. i let him trap me,
i should have been checkin on the 4th card, and if he bet big, i could lay
the nines down. but, i wassn’t thinkin. i find a lot of people doin this in
a game with over 5,000 people in it. also people playin, 9-2 off suit, or
5-3 suited and suckin outon people. people that really have no idea what
they’re doin.”

On pets:

“so, you have a new dog…well, y’all be good to him and make sure he earns his keep. it sounds like he has more training then i could ever give him if he knows what “whoa” means. our stupid dog thought it meant “go at a high speed away from here” because that’s what he did when the gate was opened. i still miss him tho.”

On coming for a visit:

“I’m just going to drive all the way out to gray county, then i may get a room if i am
so tired i can’t continue. Once my truck gets a whiff of Pampa, it’s awful
hard to shut down, so i’ll be coming in at a high lope. Hope that your old
General Moters product don’t shake its self to death on that one stretch of
hi-way. Angel if you can put me up (with out me having to do anything)(and
for free) lemmee know, ok?…………………..love you’ns, “

On Whining:

“i’m so lonely. noone ever emails me. i wonder what my kids are doing. probably eating icecream.
 
no body ever comes to see me. the neighbors won’t speak to me. my dog ran away. woe is me.”
 
On Advice:
“my best advice i can give is this: DON’T GET FAT.PERIOD.”
 
On Love:
“remember i love you both. so love me back…..dad”
 
I love you back dad.  Thanks for the emails.

5 Comments

  1. dad says:

    i hit sweep the other day, got rid of everything. i stumble on to your blogs and so fat have read them all, so send me a short email and we’ll see what happens.

    Like

  2. Lara says:

    Thanks for sharing those. I got a kick out of them.

    Like

    1. Angel says:

      Thanks Lara!

      Like

  3. Jolea says:

    Oh, Angel…I laughed so hard at some of those I was crying. It was the “Bob” laugh, where your whole body shakes but not much sound comes out…;) I’m sure other’s may not find it as funny as I did, but I can hear and see him saying everyone of them…I love you Dad!

    Like

  4. Angel says:

    He’s a dork.

    Like

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