My husband thinks after 6 years of marriage, I should know all things cow related. Here’s our conversation today (in a nutshell).
Me: I think I’ll get a mule.
Me: Why not?
Him: I rode a mule once, it was a good sonab****
Me: Isn’t a mule a cross between a horse and a donkey?
Me: What are boy and girl mules called?
Him: I think they’re called Johns and Mollies.
Me: I thought they were jacks and jennys.
Him: Those are donkeys. There are chickens and roosters and hens.
Me: (greatly confusticated, which is just my made up word, so don’t try to look for it in the dictionary. You won’t find it.) What’s the difference between a chicken and a hen?
Him: Nothing. That’s what I’m trying to say. (He begins to use his hands, as I’m a visual learner. He puts his hands together in a group) There’s chickens. (He checks in to make sure I’m following him) And then there are roosters (hands to the left) and hens (hands to the right). Like there are people. (hands in a group) And there are men (hands to the left) and women (hands to the right).
I’m catching on ever so slowly. My glazed-over look is beginning to diminish with just a glimmer of spark returning to my eyes. Then he continues:
Him: There’s cattle. And then there are bulls and cows.
Me: Don’t forget heifers and steers!
Him: (closing his eyes and shaking his head) That’s different.
Me: I’m confused.
Him: I don’t understand why you don’t get this.
Two hours later and I’m still scratching my head.
Never doubt there are awfully important conversations occurring in this household.
Just a few minutes he called to irately inform me that he cannot buy a 12 ounce aluminum can of Dr. Pepper at the Allsup’s convenience store. They sell bottles in all sizes, and a six-pack of cans with a sign that reads “Do not break the 6=pack”, but not a single serving can of Dr. Pepper is to be purchased. So he went to a Taylor Mart convenience store and the same situation presented itself. What is this world coming to?
I think we’re heading to Washington to protest on the White House steps or march on the Pentagon.