Warning: Roller Skating May Lead to Gullible Bones

This is a great song.  I first heard it at a teacher training about 4 years ago for incorporating music in the classroom, and I bought it as soon as I got home.  It’s by a girl named Melanie, whose voice is a little Janis Joplin”ish”.   That makes me love it even more.

 

Me and my niece Ash laced up our roller skates last night.

She’s been hounding me to take her skating for a couple of weeks now.  Yesterday I conceded. 

Since it’s a 30 minute drive to the nearest roller rink, I thought it would be wise to call ahead for the times and cost, so I handed Ashlynn  the phone book and asked her to look up skating in the yellow pages.

  Please note, she is an eleven year old who likes to get out of doing brain related activities as much as possible.  She likes short cuts and tasks that don’t require much thinking.  She’d rather look at a digital clock or ask you what time it is, than to study an analog clock.  I might even go as far as to say she is gifted at the art of manipulating others to do for her instead of having to do for herself. Add to that a touch of argumentativeness and a lot of energy and you’ve got Ashlynn in a nutshell.

I handed her the phone book and here’s how our conversation went:

Me:  Look up skating in the yellow pages.

Her:  What does it start with?

Me:  (dragging it out with an air of astonishment, knowing how lazy she’s being) OOOOHHHHH.

Her:  O?

Me: (very sharply) Ashlynn!!  Skating????

Her:  (matter of factly)  You said O.

So, after three hours and thirteen and a half lessons of “Hooked on Phonics Worked for Me”, we arrived at the skating rink. 

Roller skating today and roller skating when I was  just a sprout has changed some, except maybe for the skates.

I might have nightmares if I think about  how many people’s stinky feet (including mine)  have been in this particular pair of skates. 

Although the lights, the rink, and the skates carried an air of familiarity, I was disappointed to find there was not Another One Bites the Dust playing like there was in “my day”.  Rather the bass was heavy, the techno was loud, and Lady GaGa was in da house, which isn’t necessarily a good thing.

The skating commenced.

At times I felt like I was in a club, especially when some teenage girls showed off their dancing skills with a pole over in the seating area. 

I was one of 4 grown-ups there.  Apparently most parents drop their kids off, which I might too if I didn’t have a 30 minute drive home.  Even with a lack of chaperones, with the exception of the Dirty Dancing episode, the kids were very well-behaved.  I didn’t see any fighting.  Or kissing.  Or hear any bad language. 

Which is more than I can say of the skating rink in “my day.”

Before the night was over, Ashlynn was already asking if we could come back next weekend.  It was good clean fun and despite falling and busting her butt more times than I could count, she skated her heart out, feet scooting and arms flailing wildly about.  As the evening progressed, so did she.

This morning at breakfast she made sure to report that her wrist was really sore and possibly broken.

Me:  It’s not broken.  You have strong bones.

Her:  But I’m skinny.

Me:  So.  Your bones are still strong.

Her:  But they’re little.  They’re very gullible.

(Me and Jason glance at each other and bust out laughing.)

Her:  Whaaaatttt?  They fall for things easily.

 

Oh dear me. 

I’m considering writing a new program.  I’m calling it “Hooked On Vocabulary Worked for me”.

Let’s pray it works for Ashlynn.