This won’t be eloquent. I don’t have the energy to make it sound pretty.
My dad is gone, and my heart is broken. A million shards.
People say cherish the memories. And I do, and I will. But what about our plans?
You may think I’m stupid, but I wanted him to see my chickens. They’re coming in 2 weeks you know. I wanted him to read my blog everyday and leave me snarky comments about how it has no plot. I wanted him to enjoy my new place with me. Even if it is a trailer house. I wanted him to dribble his coffee on my carpet as he staggers down the hallway with his unsteady gait.
I had so much more to share with him.
I will write about my dad today, and I will write about him tomorrow, and the day after that. I may write about him for the next 19 years.
So please be patient.
January 16, 1943-February 26, 2011.
I love you, Dad.
Published by Angel
I’m Angel, a.k.a. Rocket Surgeon, and these are my chronicles. I love writing and I believe our stories should be shared, so here you’ll find anecdotes of my life, loves, worries, fears, joys, and experiences.
I blog about my mishaps and adventures as a wife, mommy, auntie, wanna-be writer, teacher, Texan, country/city/mountain girl, cereal killer and Jesus-freak.
A few things you might discover about me:
•Jesus is my everything; without Him I am nothing, but with him I can do all things
•My family makes this world a better place for me to live in
•I adore chickens, the live ones, although the cooked ones aren’t too bad either
•I have 2 dogs: Grace and Ozzie. And one cat: Rocky Muffin
•My dream job would be to raise chickens and write best sellers
Thanks for stopping by. Kick off your shoes and stay awhile. I know your time is valuable and I honor you for spending a few moments here with me. I hope you find something to brighten your day, lighten your load, make you chuckle and remind you of the good in the world.
“When you look for the bad in mankind, expecting to find it, you surely will." Pollyanna
I’m always eager to meet new online friends, so leave a comment and introduce yourself.
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Angel, my heart is breaking with you. I’m sorry we didn’t have more time…I know he is too. I will miss him every day for the rest of my life. Poppy, until I see you again…love you back.
Angel and Jolea, I’m sorry for your loss, you’re in my thoughts and prayers.
I was just lying here in bed trying to imagine what you’re going through. I ache to think of it, so it must be 1000 times worse for you. I dread the day I’ll lose a parent. I don’t feel hopeless about it because I know I’ll see them again another time. But I so dread the moments, days, weeks, months after they go, because I can’t even imagine that level of aching.
Blessings to you as you go through the motions in Oklahoma, then deal with the Emotions for the next 19 years.
Dearest Angel, If you have ever listened to me, listen to me now. He will see your chickens and he will know your blogs and he will still have his great remarks…you just have to listen. He is so close to you right now…watching your heart break, wishing he could fix it as only a parent can. Be aware of everything around you, wispers, a light brush against your face, a feeling of closeness. He is there, right where you are…making sure you are going to be ok. I have no doubt your dreams will be a connection. Allow yourself to feel and listen… I love you
I wish I could take your pain away but no one could say it better than Susan. You have a gift of writing so get your emotions and thoughts out through a pen. I am sure we won’t read them all but it could help you and Jolea heal.
I will be praying for your family.
You said you won’t be eloquent. But you were very eloquent in your expression of love. And I am sure he feels it, for love reaches beyond the physical. I will keep you and yours in my prayers.
Angel, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I will pray for peace and comfort for you and your family. Hugs.
Angel, there is not right words to express how my heart aches for your lose. “For God knows every heartache and he see every tear, and the one that you love so much the Father also holds dear.” (Thena Smith) I know in faith that God is with you and your father andI pray that he brings peace and comfort a little at a time.
I am with Susan. My heart hurts. Love and prayers for both you girls and the rest of this family.
When I heard the news, my heart fell on the floor.
I did not know your daddy, but I would have loved to. Your heart is broken and will be broken for a long time, and I am so sorry for that. You will see his face in your dreams, and he will be with you everywhere you go. I didn’t have to know your daddy to know that you were pure joy to him. I love you friend. I wish I could help with your hurt.
Oh, Angel ….my sweet “friend”. I am so sorry to read about your Daddy. There is never a good time to lose them, but God has a plan and we don’t always want it His way. Your faith is strong and my prayers are for you and your family to hold each other near and love one another, especially through this difficult time. I will be holding you near in my heart and praying God’s blessing on you and yours. Until next time … Donna
Love you Angel girl! The Lord will bless you.
When I lost my Poppy I felt the same way and this was in 1997. I still write about him on my blogs and still feel the same way you feel. I have not lost a parent but my gparent was close enough to my parent as to what you are feeling. I am so sorry for your loss and I have known you a long time and I know you have the strength to get through this lonesome time. It will take sometime but know God will hold you tight and love, faith and Jason will get you through all this.
love always me 🙂
May God shine His face upon you in this time of darkness, giving comfort that surpasses understanding.
I am so sorry to hear about your loss! I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Love you!!
I am praying for you all! I pray you will find comfort during this time!
Angel, I lost my Dad on Feb. 5th 1994. When he died I learned only one sentiment nailed my emotions perfectly …. “Death sucks”. Some may try to comfort you by saying he is in a better place. However, I say, “He may be in a better place, but I want him here with me.” My heart goes out to you today, tomorrow and the days to come. It sucks. Plain and simple.
Nothing I can say will make it any better. You weren’t done with him. I know. It doesn’t matter at the moment that he is in a better place. The only thing that matters is that you’re hurting and he’s gone. I agree with Lenore, death sucks. As time goes by, you won’t cry every day. There won’t be a day that you don’t miss him, though. I’m so sorry.