Posted in Uncategorized

In memory of my dad #5

 

As we packed up the house this past week, and walked out the door to spend the night in our new home, I looked around the rooms at the emptiness of them.  The pictures were off the walls, the furniture had been carried out.  There was nothing  left except an old chair or two and a sack of trash here and there.  The sun had set, the day was done, and we were exhausted.    

Pausing at the door, I took a deep breath and told my husband, “I’m
sad.  This is sad.”  He sweetly replied, “Well we can bring sleeping
bags back and stay here. ”  I giggled.  “No, it’s not that.  It’s just that there are lots of good memories here.”

 Memories of birthdays, Christmases, celebrations of many kinds.  There are memories of family, friends, snowed in days, and dog dribble.

And there are memories of my dad, who died barely 3 weeks ago.  Those are the memories I don’t want to leave.

The house I’m moving from is the last place I saw him walk.  That’s the last place I saw him alive.  And it makes me sad.

I’m leaving that place.  And it almost feels like I’m leaving him and his memories.  I can still see him coming down the hall into the kitchen.  I can hear the crinkling of the Chips Ahoy Chocolate Chip Package being peeled back.  And then there he goes, back down the hallway to the bedroom with a handful of cookies in his big old paw of a hand. 

Or I see him with his coffee cup struggling down the hallway, sloshing his coffee.  My husband used to tell a joke about him.  He’d say, “My father-in-law doesn’t drink coffee, he spills most of it.” 

The last time he was here was at Thanksgiving.  My sister insisted we watch a movie.  He finally agreed, even though he’d already seen it.  He laid on the floor with my sister and we laughed and laughed.

I sit in this house right now, the house I’m moving from.  I don’t have internet at my new place yet, so I come here to blog.  I’m alone in this quiet house, but if I sit real still, close my eyes, and listen hard, I can hear my dad.  I hear him holler for me to come fix the TV in the bedroom because he’s pushed the wrong button on the remote, or figure out how to get to his email on the computer, or get his basket of pills out of his truck. 

I see him laying on the end of the bed, on his stomach, snoring with the TV blaring when I come home from work.  I only wish I could hear him snore one more time.  Just one more.  I wish I had more coffee spills to clean and TV remotes to fix.

But I can’t look back, I have to move forward.

I have new memories to make.  New roads to travel. 

I wish he was here to travel them with me.  I wish we were making memories still.  I want him to see my chicks.  I want him to stay in my new house.  We laid laminate flooring instead of carpet, simply for the ease of cleaning up coffee spills.

I’m moving ahead, but there will be times on my journey, I must pause to remember my dad.

Just for a moment, but not too long.
I have promises to keep,
and miles to go before I sleep,
and miles to go before I sleep.

Advertisements

Author:

I’m Angel, a.k.a. Rocket Surgeon, and these are my chronicles. I love writing and I believe our stories should be shared, so here you’ll find anecdotes of my life, loves, worries, fears, joys, and experiences. I blog about my mishaps and adventures as a wife, mommy, auntie, wanna-be writer, teacher, Texan, country/city/mountain girl, cereal killer and Jesus-freak. A few things you might discover about me: •Jesus is my everything; without Him I am nothing, but with him I can do all things •My family makes this world a better place for me to live in •I adore chickens, the live ones, although the cooked ones aren’t too bad either •I have 2 dogs: Grace and Ozzie. And one cat: Rocky Muffin •My dream job would be to raise chickens and write best sellers Thanks for stopping by. Kick off your shoes and stay awhile. I know your time is valuable and I honor you for spending a few moments here with me. I hope you find something to brighten your day, lighten your load, make you chuckle and remind you of the good in the world. “When you look for the bad in mankind, expecting to find it, you surely will." Pollyanna I’m always eager to meet new online friends, so leave a comment and introduce yourself.

6 thoughts on “In memory of my dad #5

  1. oh angel, i could cry a river of tears, we have some of those coffee spills here too, no tears in heaven, we will all be reunited once again, we have to make it, he is waiting on us. keep on blogging sweetie, love you, auntie L

    Like

  2. thanks you for sharing this, I suppose my thought to offer would be that sometimes we have to just hang out in the roadside cafe that is sadness and mourning a little bit longer before we move on to the next exciting part of our journey. thanks

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s