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Angel vs. Life

The Postaday challenge that I unofficially signed up for on January 1st is kicking my butt right now. I’ve managed to post a blog everyday for 109 days.  Some good, some awful.  I fear I’m boring my readers to tears with chicken antics and doggy drivel.

Do I credit writers block?? No, I don’t think that’s what it is at all. I contribute it to a lack of time.  Time to think.  Time to sit and reflect.  Time to be me.

Each day my blogging is becoming harder and harder. 

I recently read an excerpt from a story in the New Yorker about writer’s block.  It was entitled A Cure for Blocked Screenwriters and it told of a writer who had a case of writer’s block.  After a year and a half of producing nothing, he went to visit a therapist named Barry Michels.  The therapist gave him some advice:

Michels also told the writer to get an egg timer. Following Michels’s instructions, every day he set it for one minute, knelt in front of his computer in a posture of prayer, and begged the universe to help him write the worst sentence ever written. When the timer dinged, he would start typing. He told Michels that the exercise was stupid, pointless, and embarrassing, and it didn’t work. Michels told him to keep doing it.

Well of course you probably know how the story ends.  In no time, this writer had a script written and a movie being filmed.

I haven’t ever set an egg timer, but I do pray.  Not to the universe, but to a real, living God who hears me.  I ask him to help me write words that are meaningful, that glorify Him, that will touch other’s lives.  And after I hit publish on each blog, I try to remember to send up a very feeble thank you. 
 
I tell you all this because what I really want to say, without sounding whiney, is that I’m struggling.  Life has me beat right now.  I’m sitting in my corner of the boxing ring gasping for air, blood is running down from the cut above my eye, my opponent named Life is pumped up in his corner opposite me, hopping around.  He can’t even sit still.  The last round was his.  My trainer is squirting water in my mouth, towelling the sweat off my shoulders, and telling me to lead with my left, to keep my hands up.   Except all I desire to do is crawl through the ropes of the ring and leave the fight.  Forfeit.  The only reason I don’t is because of the crowd.  I don’t want to be booed.  
 
I want to quit blogging and I don’t want to quit blogging.   If that makes any sense at all. Writing gives me peace and joy and I really, really love it.  But it is the last thing I do each day.  Which sometimes, in my tired state, can feel like drudgery.  It’s last not because I want it to be, but because so many other responsibilities take precedence.  Except God.  He actually is coming completely last in my day.  I have it all mixed up I know.  And I know how to fix it as well.  But I need some help.  If you pray at all, would you say one for me tonight?  Would you ask for help with my fight? 
 
My time out is over.  The bell is sounding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.  The next round is beginning.  So I will rise from my seat, jump around a couple of times, walk to the center of the ring, and touch gloves with Life.
 
I may not come out the Champ, but at least I’ll come out.  
 
 
 
You can read more of the New Yorker story mentioned above, below: http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2011/03/21/110321fa_fact_goodyear#ixzz1K1UJLzqj
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Author:

I’m Angel, a.k.a. Rocket Surgeon, and these are my chronicles. I love writing and I believe our stories should be shared, so here you’ll find anecdotes of my life, loves, worries, fears, joys, and experiences. I blog about my mishaps and adventures as a wife, mommy, auntie, wanna-be writer, teacher, Texan, country/city/mountain girl, cereal killer and Jesus-freak. A few things you might discover about me: •Jesus is my everything; without Him I am nothing, but with him I can do all things •My family makes this world a better place for me to live in •I adore chickens, the live ones, although the cooked ones aren’t too bad either •I have 2 dogs: Grace and Ozzie. And one cat: Rocky Muffin •My dream job would be to raise chickens and write best sellers Thanks for stopping by. Kick off your shoes and stay awhile. I know your time is valuable and I honor you for spending a few moments here with me. I hope you find something to brighten your day, lighten your load, make you chuckle and remind you of the good in the world. “When you look for the bad in mankind, expecting to find it, you surely will." Pollyanna I’m always eager to meet new online friends, so leave a comment and introduce yourself.

11 thoughts on “Angel vs. Life

  1. When life is hard on you…then you’re doing something right. You know who owns this world and last thing he wants is for you to touch lives, hearts, and talk about our God. You’re winning this fight, you just don’t know it yet. Take a deep breath, but before you go to the fight…turn around and look at your trainer. How can you lose with Him in your corner. We all love you, but He LOVES you.

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  2. You will come out the Champ, Angel. God has promised us a victory, we jost have to finish the fight. Hang in there friend. I’m saying a prayer for ya!

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  3. Say’n a prayer for you. Got to go with the flow sister, if you dont want to blog every day then don’t, do things that you want to do, life is too short. We will all live if you only write every other day. Count your blessings, name them one by one, I know you do that every day, one sentence blogs are good if you can’t shake the habit. Love ya girlie, see you tomorrow.

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  4. Angel, darlin’ I’m so sorry you are struggling right now, and just so you know, I have been thinking of you and praying for you almost since the day I happened upon this site, and I’m almost certain most, if not all, the folks who come here regularly have been doing the same! Rest assured, I’ve never been “bored” with any of your posts. but it does seem like you spoke more often about your faith in earlier posts and I found that very endearing and most of all, encouraging! Maybe the challenge to post everyday was a bit much given what you and your family have been through with the untimely loss of your father, your move and your job. Maybe you should take some time to “renew” yourself … more time in prayer and reading of the word. The answers are there if we really seek them out. God may be trying to tell you something, and you just haven’t “read the memo” yet!! Also, it makes me wonder if you have really taken the time to grieve your loss. That in itself is a “fight” not always to be won in a round or two. Please, please take care of yourself (and your hubby) first… but you shouldn’t be concerned about what others think just because you can’t/don’t blog every day. Those of us who really care about your well being will come back when you are ready! (BTW, I loved hearing about your chickens and your pups:) You are in my prayers… Until next time, Donna

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  5. You know you’re always in my prayers. I know you’ve been overwhelmed lately and I hate that. I also know that you’ve made a commitment and hate to not follow through, so maybe change it up a bit. Post a picture or a question and ask for comments. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself , you’re doing great. The lazy days of summer aren’t far away and that will help refresh you. Just hang in there and know so many people love you and are praying for you! This too shall pass. ❤ ❤ ❤

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  6. I love your chicken stuff, yours is one of the most entertaining blogs I subscribe to 🙂
    I think all us postadayers go through this, I certainly have and so have other bloggers I read. Some stick through it, others take a break and return refreshed. Some vanish 😦 I hope you don’t do that!
    I was really struggling with it a few weeks ago, making rather too many short whiny posts saying how I didn’t want to post any more! The comments I always got kept me going and I have a second wind at the moment!
    I’ll pray for you too 🙂 You can always combine reconnecting with God and blogging – multitasking!
    I have that problem too, mumbling a half coherent prayer just before falling asleep 😦 then feeling guilty. I try to pray when I wake up now, even if it’s just a short ‘good morning, God, thanks for the day and I’m glad You’ll be with me through it even if I don’t notice at the time, please help me to do Your will today.’

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  7. Hugs girl!!! I like your sisters idea. Post a funny picture and we can write different captions. Post a scripture verse. I will be praying for you daily.

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  8. Like an earlier suggestion above, how about posting a picture with a caption. The caption can be descriptive of the picture, or of your day, or what you are thinking of that day, or worried about, or happy about, etc. The caption can be just a word or a sentence. You don’t even have to take a photo each day, instead take a lot of pictures one day, and just post one each day.
    Writing is hard work, and I certainly cannot do it, and do admire those that can. Keeping you in my prayers.

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