I’m ranting.
Not just because I’m mad, but because I’m sad too. Anger and tears. That’s what happens to me. First I get angry, and then I cry and then I get angrier that I’m crying, and then I cry harder, which makes me more angry. Aaarrrggghhhh!
I have such a high tolerance too. I rarely get mad, so I have to sort this out in my mind. Why am I so mad? Or am I really hurt? Yes that’s it, I’m hurt. If my friend were sitting on my bed with me right now she would remind me that anger is a peacock emotion. In other words, anger shows itself while a different emotion is being hidden. One of those hidden emotions is hurt.
I have just been treated so rudely by someone in the educational field, a professional I dare call him, and I’ll use that term loosely. Blatant, out and out, rudeness. Offensive. Treated as if I were nothing. A nobody. My niece’s teacher would not look up from his computer to simply say hello when my niece wanted me to meet him. As I introduced myself, I got a hmmmm hmmmm in response, right along with a “I’ve got a conference at 3:30”. He didn’t stand, he didn’t say hello, he didn’t extend his hand, he didn’t even look me in the eye.
I am an outsider here. I am reminded of it all too often. My self worth and self confidence is at an all time low for whatever reason, and for someone to not acknowledge that I exist, that I am standing in the same room, that I am a human being with a beating heart, well quite honestly, he waylaid me. I have been drop-kicked in the gut.
Am I unworthy to be spoken to. No, that’s ridiculous. I feel so silly to allow someone to make me feel this low. Yet, I do.
This is a feeling I don’t think I have ever experienced before IN MY LIFE. A feeling of complete unworth. And I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Which causes me to question, have I ever treated someone else like this? Even unconsciously? I hope not. I hope I have never made anyone, be it a parent at school, a relative, a clerk at the convenience store, a classmate from high school, or a beggar on the corner feel as if they were nothing, as if they didn’t matter, as if they were unimportant. But the truth is, I have. I’m sure I have. Even though I can’t recall it, they remember it. How could someone forget. It hurts too deeply.
So, what will I do? Will I fire off a scathing email to him like I want, and then visit his principal and tattle on him, like I want?
No I won’t.
Will I tell my husband through my tears what happened and beg him to go beat him up, like I want?
No I won’t.
Will I find out where he lives and throw a roll of toilet paper through his tree branches and then egg his car?
Maybe I will do that.
No, I won’t.
Instead I’ll remind myself of who I actually am. I’ll thank my God that He has made me HIS CHILD, that I am a daughter of THE ALMIGHTY KING, that I am HIGHLY FAVORED, that God DELIGHTS in me, that He SINGS over me, that I am LOVED so very much that God himself would robe himself in flesh, remain sinless, yet die a gruesome death for me. FOR ME. I am WORTH that much to Him. Unworthy to be spoken to by a teacher, maybe I am, but to God I am SOMEBODY. Because of that, I will lift my head, I will wipe my tears, and I will remember that everyone (including that teacher) is worthy of a smile, a kind word, a simple hello. I will strive to be a better person who treats everyone I meet with dignity and respect, regardless of how busy I am, what kind of day I’m having, or whether I had my coffee that morning. What a humbling experience I’ve had today, and what a reminder and a lesson I have learned.
If I have ever made you feel bad about yourself, please forgive me. Please know it was not intentional. Please know I did not intend to hurt you.
Sending you my cyber hug,
Angel
Angel Wheeler 
oh sweetie, how rude can anyone be!!! well u are right to all of the above, but thank the good Lord above that you are a child of the King! His love is everlasting, hope God will speak to his heart! hugs and blessings to you my dear niece, love you
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God already has spoken to my heart. I will pray for the poor guy too. Love you.
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That’s dreadful. As an educator, I find such behavior even more appalling. I am so sorry you went through this!
You are a beautiful, princess of the Most High. You are absolutely worthy. That poor jerk-head missed the opportunity to meet royalty. Bless his ignorant heart.
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Yes! What a great way to look at it! Thank you.
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Absolutely, Angel. I have been exactly where you are, and my mom said to me, “sucks for them…” Well, it’s not the most elegant response, but it is certainly true 🙂
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This is ironic, Angel. The fact that the teacher ignored you – a fellow teacher. By that I mean, you appreciate and understand the value of connecting with your students and the parents of the students. By ignoring someone – not making eye contact – you put up a wall and send the very signal you received, “You are not worth of a “hello.” Of course, I don’t think this particular teacher believes that to be true – but actions speak louder than… well inaction, in this case.
I am so very sorry you experienced this at the school. Relocating is hard enough on one’s self-esteem, one does not need a situation like this tossed in their face. But, you know you are worthy, furthermore, you know you would not treat your students or their parents in the same manner. Seems God is using you to set a good example for this particular person, as he has much to learn.
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Thank you Lenore Diane, it is ironic indeed. He however, has no idea I’m a fellow educator, and my niece seems to like him. So as long as he’s good to her, we’ll just keep our distance 🙂
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I’m sorry and I love you!
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Love you too.
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wow! angel, I’m sorry you had to deal with such a horses tail! He must have been having one hell of a bad day is all i can say. Is he a teacher to Ashlyn? does she say anything about him having a bad attitude? Your attitude is better than mine. i would have wanted sweet revenge I’m afraid. You are a better person for letting go and letting God. No, you have never been rude to me or mine sweetie. give e.k. a kiss from aunt jeanne Sent from my iPad
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Yes he is one of Ash’s teachers, and she says he’s nice. So as long as he is treating her good, i’m just going to keep my distance. I’ll give EK a kiss for you.
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Angel, you have a good attitude. I would have been devastated., hurt, angry, and all of the above, I do not take rejection well. But there must be something good about him or Ash would not think so much of him. I think she is a very good person at seeing the best in everyone. However he was out of line. He should have been glad to meet you. It seems as though perhaps he was intimdated for some crazy unknown reason. So I’m hopeing you don’t take it personally, And I’ll bet he will end up being a good friend in the long run, you didn’t say how old he was. Its always people like you who are so sweet that get hurt. Yes you are worthy of being treated much better and with much more respect. I hope he sees the error of his ways and apoligizes to you .. I love you so much. And only wish the best for your family. I know you will never treat anyone that way. much love from Aunt Velta..
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Well I was devastated, hurt, angry etc. But now I’m better. Ash always sees the best in people yes. He’s old enough to know better, older than me. I love you too!!!
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Wow, thank you, Angel, for 1) such an uplifting story 2) for the reminder that we are all worthy in God’s eyes 3) I may have treated someone badly unintentionally 4) my feelings may have been hurt unintentionally & 5) I need to be more like my Maker.
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You’re welcome Dalene, thanks for them comment!
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Well, now Mama’s MAD! And, that is NOT a good thing! When I get there, I want to go to the school and have a visit with this inconsiderate slob! For him to do that to MY CHILD. . . . my most precious, kind, good, sweet, adorable and most beloved, not only to me, but to every one of God’s children that you have ever met in your lifetime, is inexcuseable and an abomination to ALL who know you…..and especially to me! I love you MORE than life! You are MOST, most worthy! ! ! The problem lies within this POOR EXCUSE of this small and little runt of a so called man, who is most unworthy to even breathe the same air that you breathe! ! ! I am soooo sorry that you were hurt by him! How dare he?! You are a beautiful soul and a precious child of our God!
(mama cravings comment is beautiful !)
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The truth and reality of what happened is probably more disgusting. My guess would be he was looking at porn on his computer and didn’t want to get caught. Tell your niece to stay far away from him. I work in the court system. You would be surprised at the number of people who are addicted to porn, who look at it at work, and who would do anything to hurry up and try to get off the site they are on while a student’s family is standing in front of them.
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