Pack up all my care and woe

Right now I am drowning in this parenthood thing.  Drowning, I tell ya.  The most frequent thought that runs through my head is packing a little knapsack and running away. Far, far, away.  Seriously, I’m considering getting a job just to get a break.  Is that crazy?  Really I should have a handle on this by now, but I don’t.

EK is 2.5 and I think this is the hardest season we’ve gone through so far. For starters, only mom can do anything.  Only mom can dress her, wipe her, hold her, pour her milk, put on her shoes, fix her noodles, etc. etc. etc. And second, she is wanting to be independent, bossy, and rule the roost.  Then on top of the “push the limits” behavior, the binky fairy visited and took her binkies to all the babies of the world.  Biggest Mistake Ever.  This has totally rocked her world. And mine. And I’d just like to say right here for the record, the INTERNET IS A BIG, FAT LIAR!

I always go to the Internet because I don’t have an old, wrinkled, medicine woman from an indigenous culture living with me, but oh how I wish I did.  First off, I timed the fairy’s visit with the farmer’s almanac for weaning animals and children.  Stupid farmers.

Second, I was told by the so called “experts” it would be a couple of rough nights, maybe up to a week.  Well, let me tell you folks, we are on day 11 and rough doesn’t scratch the surface. She still asks for it 2-3 times a day and all night.  She’s not napping, she’s not sleeping, which translates into I’m not napping.  I’m not sleeping.  Which translates into one huge, grouchy mother.

Do you want to know what we’re doing?  We’re crying.  We’re fighting.  And I’m drowning.  I almost caved last night.  I almost, after 11 nights, gave it back to her. It was pushing midnight and she hadn’t napped in days and everything was and is a crisis.  But instead of caving, I got the Tylenol.  A swig for her.  A swig for me. Actually, a couple swigs for me and a carefully measured, accurate dose for her because she truly is a little sick which is like the cherry on top of everything else.  We made it until 4:30 a.m. before the next crisis.

Right now the reason I’m able to even blog, is because my husband dragged her out of the house to go build a princess castle in the woods, whatever that may mean.  I’m just thankful.

It means I’m alone.  It means the house is quiet.  It means I can refuel my soul from every ounce that has been drained from it, to prepare for the next siphoning session to begin.

I truly don’t know how parents do this?  How do you people do this?  So say a prayer for us, would you?  I know this isn’t the biggest issue in the world, but it’s the biggest issue in my world, and I’m selfish.  And tired.

16 thoughts on “Pack up all my care and woe

  1. Hugs!!!! I remember that moment. I didn’t dare take it away because I caved day 4. Yeap I did. I told him that if he wanted that new truck, he had to be a big boy and hand over the paci. He actually handed it to the cashier and that was it. When he asked I reminded him that he wanted to be a big boy so he gave it to that lady at the store. He said okay and moved on. 🙂
    Mine is almost 5 and there are days I want to run away. I feel like I fail every day. Then he says I love you and all is right.
    Hugs girl!! Praying for you.


    1. Thanks Lara for the encouraging words. That was a good idea to hand it over to the cashier. She was okay with it until she wanted it and then she says she wants the binkie fairy to bring it back. Hope life is treating you kind. Hugs.


  2. i miss yall on fb, well the binky thing will pass, i remember too well, and i sort of just let jenn decide for herself when she threw it out the car window, that was it! i feel for ya, but you jjust gotta hang in there and she will get over it. (maybe), i enjoy your blogs so keep finding some time to write, we love yall! hugs, auntie L


    1. I love you too Aunt L. I should have just waited but it was becoming a hassle to find it, take it with us, etc. Plus her teeth. She doesn’t have much growing room and I’m worried about them. I hope you’re doing okay. Jolea keeps me updated on the fam damily. Love you.


  3. We never had to deal with the binky issue, but I am positive I would have caved by now. Some kids need it longer than others. Some are just stubborn. All of them are hard. You are a great mom! Glad you got a bit of a break today. Hang in there!!


  4. Oh my peeps, my people, my homies. I feel your love. The encouragement of the ones who have gone before me. I miss all of you on fb too. Thanks for the comments and love!!!!


  5. Angel I did the same thing.. Except he was sick and throwing up and I made it into a big ordeal.. Oh and he couldn’t hear and was learning sign language. I thought I was going to kill him, me, dad and any person who even thought to talk to me.. Omg 1 month later and finally we slept without asking for it. The internet lies yes.. I thought ok day 3 we are doing good.. Nope and then day 20 came and went.. Hang in there.. Trust me it gets better.. Vent all you like.. We mothers have got to stick together.. She’s such a cutie.. Trust me it’s uphill slowly from here.. Just wait till he turns 13.. Holy cow now that is when I want to really snap.. We have exactly 6 days and counting and his mouth has already started.. Been through it 2 times already but wow the third time is a charmer.. Love those kids.. These are moments you will cherish later..


  6. Oh, Angel! I feel for y’all! My sister weaned my nephew off of his binkies recently. The fairy would take the one he went to bed with(one at a time every few nights) he had a dozen to give! Lasted about a month and then Pierson hid a few! Lol he finally accidentally left his last one somewhere and that was the end. I wish you luck and send prayers for your sanity!


  7. Just got a chance to read this and my heart aches for you Angel! I was a working momma after my oldest turned 2 so the day care had to deal with a lot of what you’re describing. I will say many prayers for you and for sweet EK to get through this “season” and come out stronger on the other side! Have you thought of a mother’s day out program a couple times a week? Might give you that much needed break and give EK a chance to “do things” for herself? That or find a play group that you can take her to. Might do you both some good 😉 Miss you of FB but glad you are still blogging!!


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