Winter Around

Today I will look for God.

Just like I do everyday, at least on the days I’m not too harried.

It is easy to find him in spring with new life imminent.

It is easy to find him in summer with its long, lazy days.

It is not hard to find him in autumn, with its glorious bursting colors.

But winter.

In winter I find him on the branches of seemingly dead trees glistening with ice.

I hear him in the birdsong as they bravely carry on, encouraging one another.

I find him in the crunchy blades of grass under my boots.

I feel his breath on my cheeks and nose.

I see him in a multitude of grackles pecking a frozen ground.

I hear him in the heavy silence all around. Be still and listen.

In the winter season, he is still there.

Seek, then find.

Ordinary, yet precious


Life is made of moments. Many are magical. Most are merely mundane.

Ordinary life. But within every second of mundane and ordinary, lies the power. The power to be present. The power to choose your words carefully. The opportunity to connect with others. The opportunity to love, show love, and be love. All we really have is this moment.

Life is made of moments. Some day, the moments will only be memories. Time is precious and people are precious and that’s really all we need to know. Treat both as such.

Where It All Began

Can we all just join together in a moment of silence for all the teachers out there? For me and many others, tonight marks the end of our Christmas break. It is back to the grind tomorrow. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I wasn’t a tiny bit melancholy about this.

The past two weeks, I’ve been super introspective. I’ve allowed myself to slow down enough to listen to my thoughts. To evaluate my life. I’ve truly spent the last three years, since beginning my LuLaRoe business, working my fingers to the bone. Ignoring parts of me that need tending and ignoring people in my life that need nurturing.

Today I found myself in a dusty attic looking for something from nearly 30 years ago. I’m a sentimental old hen and have saved nearly every card, every letter, every personal email that has ever been sent to me. I found what I was looking for. Rummaging through sentiments from the past, sneezing through the dust, took me to a place of serious nostalgia. I let the past collide with my present and I’m not sure about you, but it never fails to leave me worse off than when I began.

I went way back down memory lane today. Far back into dark reaches I haven’t been in a while. I decided I should write my memories while I still can. I began to think of the house that built me. An small orange brick house on the edge of town. I got my journal and I drew out the floor plan. I remembered so many details of that house and the yard. As memories flooded my mind, words began to pour forth, carrying me back to places I have left in the dark.

Did you ever play a game where someone grabbed one of your wrists and one of your ankles, picked you up, and began to spin you around? Maybe it was called airplane. Or maybe that’s what I call it. If you were light enough, they were able to raise you high and lower you down all while they were spinning you around and around. You watched the world go by at dizzying speed, blurring before your eyes, losing all sense of where you were. After what seemed like a really long time, they would put you down and you would stagger around like a drunkard with the world still spinning until you fell into the green fescue grass in childhood laughter and waiting for everything to return to normal.

That’s how my childhood felt. Exhilarating highs. Then being so low it felt like the ground was rising up to meet me. The spinning. The blur. The dizziness. The confused stumbling. Waiting for normal.

I think it’s good advice not to look back. That’s not where we are. It’s not always a pleasant place to visit, but in some mystical way, it’s calling to me. I don’t know why. I don’t know why now. I’m not sure I want to go because of the feelings that come up. But I think there’s healing back there.

I recently read Stephen King’s novel 11/22/63. It’s about a man who finds a portal to the past, and he returns to right some wrongs. I too have discovered a portal to the past. I can’t right the wrongs, but I can look them in they eye now. So I’m going to journey back to a place of long ago, and I’m going to return different than before I left.

My New Year Wish For You (and me)

Even though we’re already three days into the New Year, I still want to send a wish your way. Of course, a new year is not necessary for a new mindset. We can begin every new day  or even every new moment. We’ve never been here before. Let’s start now.

I’m excited about this new year of 2020. There’s a stirring inside me that I can’t quite explain. But it’s time. Really. It’s time. I’ve wasted so much time. Without regrets and with only lessons, I move forward.

This year feels so promising to me because of the numbers. You can look at many sites to get the meaning of the number 2020, but this is the one I liked best: the number 2 represents relationships, intuition, and purpose of life. The number zero represents spiritual growth, its journey, life cycles, and connection to the spiritual world. When you see numbers repeated like in 2020, the meaning is amplified. Two zeroes means you’re about to enter a new chapter in your life. And if you don’t believe the idea of numerology, surely you believe your facebook quizzes. They all say change is coming too 🙂

So entering this new chapter, new year, new day, new moment, right here where we are, may you first realize how very far you’ve come. Don’t look back, and if you do, only look back to see where you were. Appreciate where you are now.

May you increase your faith in yourself and your abilities to do what you’ve been afraid to do. The treasures lie deep within you. You are the one that has to discover them, dig them out, brush them off, polish them up, and let them shine for others to see.

May you step out of your comfort zone and try something new. Is it scary? Sure it is. It’s terrifying. But what if it’s your calling and you’ve been pushing it aside for too long. Find the courage. You are brave. Remember that courage that lives inside you? It’s still there.

Break an old habit that’s not serving you. Just stop.

Open your heart. It is stronger than you believe it to be. It’s been broken. I know that, but it can heal and it will heal. It has so much love to offer if you’ll only let it. Don’t miss out on the love that is yours to receive when you open it up as well.

Slow down, don’t be in a big rush to get to nowhere. Enjoy the moment you’ve been given. This moment, right here. Look around. It’s all yours. Find the good in it.

Forgive yourself and everyone else–in that way you are liberating yourself. Release it. Let it go. Leave it behind. Don’t look back.

Be kind, always. But mostly, be kind to yourself. You are loved. ~2020