Posted in Dear Diary

Holy Moly! Where Has the Time Gone?

It’s been three months since I’ve blogged. I am partly ashamed and partly surprised. I can’t believe it has been that long and at the same time I can’t believe I have neglected this little corner of my world so badly. I have never ever gone this long before. Needless to say, it has been a busy, hectic summer.
So what in the world has been going on with me?

I have not fallen off the ends of the earth, although I do have a new address. We made a move in the middle of June back home to the wide open spaces, glorious sunsets, and scalding hot summers of the Texas Panhandle. We had an enjoyable couple of years in Ruidoso, got more than spoiled with God’s beauty and mild temperatures, but it was just time to come home.

Boy, was moving a chore. Neither J-Dub nor myself recalled the move to New Mexico as trying, aggravating or long processed as the move back. It took quite a few trips and quite a lot of grit to get it done, but we finally arrived in one piece. After that heinous ordeal, and after searching for a solid four weeks for the iron, I decided that we had too much stuff. I mean, really. I read a little book called “The Magic Art of Tidying Up” and with that new knowledge I have released a lot of my possessions in a serious act of purging. I still have a ways to go, but I at least feel like I have a good handle on it, although we still can not park in the garage yet. All in due time my pretty, all in due time.

What else has happened? In order of events, here’s a quick run through.

1. I joined Stitch Fix! I was so excited to get my first fix, and had every intention of blogging about it, but then I saw the pictures. ACK! EEK! Couldn’t do it, but maybe next time, which is coming up very soon.

2. I spent way too much time and frustration attempting to get my Texas Driver’s License. I will never let it go again. No matter what. I am convinced the government makes things so difficult, that it is easier to just be an outlaw.
Angel the Kid.
Kinda has a nice ring to it.
Or not.

3. We inherited three ducks.

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The only thing I’ve learned about ducks….they’re not chickens.
And that’s pretty much all I have to say about that.

4. EK is as beautiful, smart, funny, and wonderful as ever. She’s had a summer full of growth. She’s learned how to tell a pretty mean knock-knock joke. She attended a Princess dance camp and was left by herself for the first time with “strangers”, and loved it and wanted to go back. She is getting braver all the time, not peeking out from behind her momma’s skirts as much as before. She went to VBS at church and loved it! She’s been riding horses with her daddy and I couldn’t be prouder of all that she is and all she is accomplishing.

5. I took a job. I think. There’s a bit of hang up with some paperwork, but I think it’s okay to announce it. It’s part-time at the Alternative School working with at-risk teen mothers in the homebound program. Yeah, it’s going to be so different from anything I’ve ever done. If emotions were candy, they would be a bag of Skittles. I have an emotion of every color surrounding this new adventure. Both professionally and personally. I can hardly wrap my mind around the change that this will bring in both me and our family dynamic. As we speak, I am officially finishing up my last week as a SAHM. In everything there is a season, and with the end of one, there is a process of grief for me. It was a good run and I am so thankful and blessed to have had the opportunity to spend these last three years with EK. There is so much I’m going to miss, but I won’t think about that now, I’ll think about that tomorrow.

Well sweet friends, the sun has set, the cicadas are humming and the world is peaceful here. Before I began blogging tonight, I had just finished a really great book “Eleanor and Park”, and I’m itching to open another one up before it gets too terribly late. It felt really good to write to you. I’ve missed it.

Until next time,
Angel

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Posted in Faith

A Friend

I’ve never been a good friend maker.

I’m an introvert, and definitely not a social butterfly.

I’ve been called shy, quiet, and aloof.  It’s just who I am.

I consider myself nice.  I will speak if spoken to, I’ll answer your questions, I’ll smile at your stories, but I’m not usually one to offer my own or go out of my way to strike up a conversation, especially if I don’t know you.  I know that probably sounds super weird since I tell all my stuff through this blog, but it’s easier for me to write than to speak.  Through writing, I have time to think and I use the backspace button a lot!

I’m not completely friend-less.  I have a few dear and true friends in my life.  There are people who would bend over backwards if I needed help, and through our move to New Mexico, we have had so many people offer and extend help our way.  It is truly remarkable to know my family is cared for by so many.

As we leave “old” friends, my prayer the last few weeks has been for God to help us make new friends.  For all of us.   Ashlynn, Jason, and Emma will have no problems.  But me?  It’s not as easy.  But God never ceases to amaze me.  He is so good.  He cares for the little things in our life.

I was thrilled Friday evening when while I was putting sheets on Emma’s crib mattress, my next door neighbor came over to introduce herself, and instantly it seemed I had a new friend.  A beautiful, fair-faced, redhead named Summer.  Who happens to have a child one year younger than Ashlynn who will be attending the same school. Who happens to have a bloodhound named Daisy.  Little do you know, I have always wanted a bloodhound, and when I was much younger, I wouldn’t let my sister name her Golden Retriever Daisy because I was saving that name for my future little girl.  I didn’t follow through with that of course, but I’ve always loved the name.

We chatted it up for a few minutes and exchanged numbers.  She told me of a play group I might get connected with, where to pick up the mail and the where the school bus stops.

It was a nice visit.  I felt at ease.  And relieved to have met a new person.

We had to leave the next morning to return to our former town for business, but when we get back I’m going to get some courage and do something big, like walk over there and knock on her door or something!

 

 

 

Posted in Uncategorized

The First Night

We loaded a borrowed horsetrailer with pots and pans, sheets, and an overnight bag along with an assortment of cardboard boxes I have spent the last 3 weeks packing up and we headed west.

We thought it a good idea to get a jump on moving to our new home in Ruidoso and besides just being a good idea, we’re too excited not to get a headstart.

As J-dub and I carried in box after box in the dark, our niece Ash and our near 11 month old EK were busy too.

Even though it’s already the 23rd of December, and even though we won’t be here for Christmas day, but because it’s EK’s first one and because  it’s the good and proper thing to do in a new house in December, they set about putting up the Christmas tree.

Some of the lights wouldn’t light, and it’s bare on the bottom where EK can reach.

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It’s not perfect, but neither are we.
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But it puts a smile on my face, as does the sweet girls who worked on it.

Posted in Uncategorized

Stress? Why yes, I’ll have another.

My blog has been rather quiet lately and I hate that, but that’s because right now I am literally up to my eyeballs in moving boxes.

I had this great idea to start the process of packing early, uncluttering, and only taking the essentials.  And it seems that has dragged this whole shindig out way too long. Image

Needless to say, I’m a wee bit stressed right now.

I have a motto that I try to live by.  “Live Simply”.  And so far, I’m pretty much stinking it up.  I  have no idea how on this blessed earth I have managed to accumulate so many things.  Anybody relate?  I mean really, do I need two Bundt pans?  And it’s not as if I’ve lived in the same place for 40 years.  We’ve only lived here for about 2 years.  You would think I would have cleaned out the last time we moved. But my lazy bones got the best of me and I just moved all the stuff and decided to deal with it later.  And later has become now.

In the process of cleaning out, I’ve had to make some really tough decisions.  It seems my hoarding/sentimental side can come up with a myriad of excuses as to why I should keep the things I own.

But your grandma/dad/brother/third cousin twice removed gave that to you.

What if you host Christmas or Thanksgiving some year?  You might need 24 drinking glasses.

You actually plan on making something crafty with that broken rake head, remember?

It’s nice to have a spare coffee pot, iron, Bundt pan. What if the other breaks?

This needless, worthless, piece of junk might be worth money some day.

You paid a lot for that {insert item here} 24 years ago.

To my hoarding/sentimental self, I’ve had to say, “Enough!  Just because something was a gift, doesn’t mean I have to keep it forever.  If I ever need 24 drinking glasses, I’ll borrow some from a neighbor.  If my iron breaks, well then yippee! And just because it cost a lot 24 years ago, doesn’t mean it’s worth a thing now.  I mean, Look at it!”

Then there’s the packing.  I’ve only ever moved a short distance in the past.  So you know how that goes, you just pull the drawers out from the dresser and stack them in the horse trailer, right? Why bother actually pulling the clothes out and putting them in boxes? You make about 50 trips with small things like lamps and bread makers.  If it’s just a few miles, you don’t even have to really seal up the boxes.  Drive slowly with breakable items clinking lightly, watch the bumps, and everything will be just fine.

But we’re not going a few miles, we’re going 300 or something.

That means bubble wrap has become my new best friend.  Things I never thought actually belonged in a box are being put in a box, which makes for a lot of boxes.

Adding to the frustration of this move is attempting a day to day routine in the house while I’m packing.  Realizing I already packed the spatulas in the midst of frying eggs is never a good thing.

Plus, there’s the emotional trauma of moving from the town that I was born and raised in to a place where I won’t know anyone in the grocery store or who I can borrow 24 drinking glasses from on Thanksgiving.

And just for fun, why don’t we throw in the biggest holiday of the year right smack dab in the middle of packing and moving away from home?  Which in and of itself is a major stressor right there.   The shopping, the wrapping, the presents, the relatives.  Please pass the eggnog.

Oh, and least I forget.  Mix in a ten month old, whose really in a clingy stage or if she’s not clinging, she’s unpacking what has just been packed.

Or using the boxes to her advantage.

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But I will persevere.  And we will get moved in just a few more days.

One of which is a major holiday filled with gifts and presents.

Which translated means more stuff to pack.

But I gotta look on the bright side.  Maybe I can score some really great boxes.

And have eggnog.

Posted in Faith, Family

Change

It seems my life stays in a constant state of adjustment.

Change happens.  There’s no stopping it.

Some changes we create, and some changes just happen and we have no choice but to  hold on with a white knuckle grip.

Although I’d like to be in charge of the change in my life, sometimes I prefer the latter.  That way I can call it God or Fate or Providence or Destiny and in turn I can take no responsibility for the failures or disappointments that may come from it.

We all experience it, and change is not necessarily a bad thing.  It’s perceived as such most of the time, but we must ask ourselves:  really do we want to always remain the same person– in the same situations –working the same job –living in the same house– doing the same old things?

Yes!! Yes this girl screams!  We do!  I do!  It’s much safer there and it doesn’t hurt.

But life just doesn’t work that way.

Over the past two years I’ve come face to face and heart to heart with

  • the death of my dad (grief, tears, sadness, longing)
  • a move to the little trailer house on the prairie (snakes, wind, dust, mice, trains, and yes even Jehovah Witnesses still visit)
  • pregnancy and the birth of my child (joy, tears, pain, guilt, fear)
  • job change for my husband (worry)
  • quitting my job of 12 years to stay home with my baby (dependence, budget, purpose, freedom, happiness)
  • learning how to be a mother ( sleeplessness, selflessness, worry, guilt, time management, joy, exhaustion)

And now, now, another biggie is heading my way.  Another move.  But this time to another town.  In another state.  I haven’t really talked about it because when I talk about it, that makes it real.  I don’t talk about it, not because I’m not excited or I don’t want it to happen, but because I’m afraid.  I don’t talk about it because doing my ostrich impersonation is much easier than recognizing that it really is happening.

But change–it is a comin’.

Soon and very soon, we will be packing up our cares and woe, tossed in with a little happiness and excitement and heading to a new destination.

My husband’s dream is to live in the mountains.  And I guess we aren’t getting any younger.   We’ve sold our little place here in the country, chickens too, and as soon as the buyers little ducklings are in a row, we will know when our last night here will be.

So on this eve of Thanksgiving, with my heart and my head filled with so much worry, trepidation, and fear, that it’s hard to find the excitement, I give thanks to God my Father, the Almighty, Who knows every breath I’ll ever take, Who numbers every hair on my head, Who knows my thoughts before I think them, and my blog posts before I type them, Who did not give me a spirit of fear, but of strength and power; I thank Him for his sovereignty and grace, for His love and providence, for His son and my salvation.  I thank Him for my daughter and my husband, my family and my friends, my health and my freedom to just pick up and move whenever and wherever we choose.  I thank Him for my past and my future, for my hurts and my sorrows, for my joy and my elation, for opportunities granted and doors closed.  For all He has done and for all He is going to do.

Dear friends, please hold me and my family in your prayers as we begin again.