An Un-Manic Monday

I just crawled under my big white down comforter next to EK who is already asleep and snoring just faintly.   It’s a Monday afternoon and it is far from manic.  You all remember the Bangles?  They used to sing a song called Manic Monday.  It was completely dumb but I can’t help but think of it every time someone mentions their crazy Monday.  And now, it’s on repeat in my brain.  If it’s on repeat in yours, then I’ve done my job well.

I can’t help but think of what a good place I’m in with my life right now.  I’m happy.  Truly happy.  Yes, of course I still have “those days”.  Everyone does and we all will until we breathe our last breath, but for now, for me, I’m content.

I don’t have anything profound to say today, just wanted to say hi, but since I’m here why not unload a few thoughts on ya?

Thought #1:  Early in January I received a big  manilla (used to call it vanilla, doesn’t every kid) envelope addressed to me with my maiden name from my only blood uncle.  Inside was some writings and photos of my dad’s.  I kind of thumbed through it all, not really diving in, and then put it away.  I’m not sure why, but like the ostrich I buried my head in the sand and pretended it wasn’t there, not sure I wanted to take that emotional ride at the time.  Since then, I’ve pulled it out and there’s a few more stories that I’ve never published on here before so I’m going to have a few more installments of Stories By My Dad very soon.

Thought #2:  It is 4 weeks to the day until I turn 39.  Woo hoo, woo Hoo!  No really, I’m very excited about that knowing I’m one year closer to my 40’s.  Crazy I may be, but I’ve been looking forward to my 40’s for a few years now.  I think they are going to be great.
Fabulous Forties.
Fantastic Forties.
NOT Frumpy Forties.

So, the bad part about it being 4 weeks until my birthday?  I was going to lose 16 pounds by then.  You want to know how many I’ve lost so far?  +1  Yes, yes, I’m up a pound and it’s not for lack of effort either.  But I’m not letting it get me down.  I’ve been consistently exercising (except for one week in January when it got a bit crazy) and eating healthier and I can see my body changing.  I’m not going to let the number on the scale discourage me when I know it’s working!  Carry on.

Thought #3:  I almost, ALMOST gave Ozzie away today.  Remember Ozzie, that little chi weenie I got a few months back?  Well he’s a royal pain in the rump.  AND he cannot learn to get along with the chickens.  I truly think he killed one, but I can’t be sure.  I only know I found a headless chicken and I totally wigged out.  I have no proof it was him, but my suspicion in high.  That was several months back, maybe in the fall.  J-Dub was out of town working.  Let me tell you, I became a basket case.  I didn’t even know it was in me to behave in that manner.  But I did what I had to do,with  snot running down my nose, and got a shovel and disposed of the headless bird.  To top it off, I think it was  Freedom.

So last night it was arranged that I would take Ozzie to someone today at 4:00.  I was emotionally ready.  Or so I thought.  And then he and EK started playing and cuddling and she was saying, “I love Ozzie so much.”  “He’s a good boy”.  That’s when the guilt started.  You see, I’m from the camp that believes once you get a dog, you have that dog for life.  Yours or its.  So guilt and failure came creeping in.  Then he got up in my lap and laid so sweet and when he looked at me, it was like he knew and was pleading with me.  I was sad and guilty yesterday evening and this morning I was almost in tears.  I held him and stroked him and thought of the time I’ve put into him.  The times I woke up in the middle of the night to take him outside to potty when he was tiny.  The times I carried him on our walks because he was so little and pooped out to make it back to the car.  I thought to myself he’s almost a year old, we’ve almost made it through the puppy stage, and I shouldn’t give up on him.  So I backed out.  I did.  And I’ve felt much better all day about it.

Thought #4:  I love quinoa these days.  If you’ve never tried it, you must.

Thought #5:  I checked out two books from the library BEFORE Christmas and have re-checked them like 2 or 3 times since.  They are due Thursday and I think it’s time to add them to the list of books I never finished.  One is We Were the Mulvaney’s by Joyce Carol Oates and All the Pretty Horses by Cormac McCarthey.  If you’ve read either one and you think I’m making a big mistake by returning them unfinished, stop me now.

Let’s see, what else?

Welp, I think my well has run dry now, there’s nothing else going on in this brain of mine now except the Bangles song.

I hope your Monday is good and un-Manic!

 

Summer twenty thirteen

I’m such a slacker and I make myself so mad when I don’t blog regularly.  My thoughts and words are a bumbling rambling mess in my head which means the best approach to empty out  is with a list.

  • Today is the first official day of summer.  Here in Ruidoso, the weather is a dream come true to us.  We don’t even have air conditioning in our house and the highs are in the 80’s right now.  It gets a bit warm in the afternoon but not unbearable.  Especially if you’re laying around, which is pretty much what I do.  Despite the cooler temps, I still hate cooking in summer.  Blah!  Heck, I hate cooking in winter, spring, and fall too.  Who am I kidding.
  • My baby is a week away from 17 months old.  It doesn’t seem possible.  We did a practice run at potty training the other day, and well, let’s just say we need a lot more practice.  Within 45 minutes, we’d been through 5 pairs of training panties and a pair of sheets.  Laundry, laundry, laundry.
  • I lost a chicken the other day.  Another mystery in the art of poultry ranching.  My last black chicken was lying dead in the yard.  It could’ve been the dogs, but they’ve lived with the chickens for more than 2 years without killing one.  It could’ve been another chicken, it could’ve been a stroke.  It remains unexplainable.  Nevertheless, I’m down to only 4 chickens but still plenty of eggs and noone to give them too. You may be hearing me describe all the ways I can prepare eggs soon:  fried eggs, scrambled eggs, poached eggs, boiled eggs…..
  • EK talks like nobody’s business.  It’s not always decipherable by most, but me and daddy have it down pretty good.  Yesterday she woke up from her nap.  I asked her if she’d like a snack.  She ran to the pantry and said “m&m’s, chocolate, donuts”  in that order.  No worries that we’re raising a health nut here.
  • I’ve had a lot of people tell me over the years that I should write a book.  That is such a huge undertaking, but not out of the question.  I’d love to, but I’m not there yet.  So, I’ve taken a direction with my writing that comes as a bit of a surprise as I’ve been hired to write a little romance novella.  I’m actually going to get paid a small pence.  Haha!  It’s a bit ironic as I have as much romance in me as a white boy’s got dance moves, but with a little help from wine, I’m hoping to unleash my inner love starved heroine.
  • egg florentine, egg drop soup…….
  • We’ve finally found a church here that we’re enjoying and meeting new people.  I think the hardest part of moving is losing the familiarity of people.  But all in good time, all in good time.
  • J-Dub and I had an anniversary this month.  We celebrated 8 wonderful years and one really bad one.  Nah, I’m just kidding.   It’s not an easy thing, but it’s a good thing.   I hope to grow old with him and watch our grandchildren play in our front yard, feeling satisfied that we did our best.
  • egg custard, eggs benedict, egg salad…..
  • I’m currently reading 4 books, yes 4.  What the heck is wrong with me?  I’ve got a romance, because obviously I need some research in that department.  A book club book by Jodi Picoult, and Remember Ben Clayton.  Also Captivating another book club discussion.  So many books, so little time.
  • Currently I’m in love with a rack of dresses at Walmart.  Economically priced at $9.94 and in a myriad of colors, I am the proud owner of 3 so far.  I’m not usually a dress person, but you know what?  These don’t bind me up.  They flow, they’re loose, and airy.  It’s almost like wearing a gown all day and who can go wrong with that.
  • Life is good.  It really is.  I’m happy in this season of my life.  God is good to me, and His love is indescribable.   Sometimes I’m filled with so much love, I don’t know what to do.  I only hope that it overflows out of me and splashes onto others a little.

I enjoyed writing this little love letter to you, but supper doesn’t stop because it’s summer.

So I’m off to cook steak.

And eggs.

 

Love,

Angel

20 Random Facts

1.  I actually have 2 middle names.  Genea Danelle, one of the weirdest names ever.  My parents couldn’t decide what to name me, and I actually was discharged from the hospital without a name.  The hospital called home and said they needed to complete the birth certificate.  So my mom was yelling at my dad, “What do you want to name this baby?”  I guess in the spur of the moment, they decided.  My mom chose Angel because I was born without the doctor present and my mom said I was just a little angel, all I needed was wings.  My dad didn’t want to name me Angel for fear I’d turn into a bar maid.  My maternal grandmother’s name was Imogene and paternal grandfather’s name was Earl Gene, so why not take Gene and throw an a at the end and call it Genea, as in Gina.  I don’t know how they came up with Danelle, but my mom like Dani and my dad didn’t.  So it’s Danelle, not Danielle.

2.  My favorite color is yellow.  It’s happy and cheerful, and reminds me of lemons and sunshine.  My car is yellow and usually one room in my home is yellow.  I especially like yellow and blue, also yellow and green, yellow and robin’s egg blue is also a great combination.

3.  As a child, my favorite storybook was a little known book called “Stand Back said the Elephant I’m Going to Sneeze”  I read it so much it was tattered.  I actually still have most of it memorized.  “Stand back said the elephant, I’m going to sneeze.  I hate to alarm you, I don’t wish to harm you.  My friends I fear, it’s clear, oh dear, you better stand back, I’m going to sneeze.  Oh no, oh no, cried the buffalo….”  o.k. I’ll stop now.

4.  The first chapter book I ever read was “The Mouse and the Motorcycle” by Beverly Clearly.  After reading, I became so obsessed with wanting to experience a mouse who rode a motorcycle, I moved my dresser away from the wall and with an orange marks-a-lot, I drew a mouse hole on the white baseboard.  But I messed up and had to scribble it out and draw another one next to it.  I can’t remember how many I drew, but I never could seem to get it right.  I do not remember getting in trouble for that.

5.  My dad never spanked me growing up, and my mom whipped me twice.  I only remember the reason for  one of them, and she whipped me in front of my siblings and I was completely and totally ashamed.  Just writing that, made me feel it all over again.

6.  I have never truly been happy with my weight, not ever.  I have always wanted to be smaller, no matter how small I have been.

7.  When I was young, I wanted to be a waitress and a bank teller, a teacher and a ballerina. I’ve actually had jobs as a waitress and a teacher.  The bank teller desire passed, but when I see a beautiful ballerina, I still sometimes wish that was me.

8.  I never got the chance to take ballet.  My older sister did and I hear she was not the most graceful and ran off the stage crying at the recital.  I guess my mom assumed I’d do the same, and saved her money.    I kind of resent that, but it is what it is.

Wow, I still have 11 more random thoughts to think of.  This is harder than it looks.

9.  I bite my fingernails when they get too long rather than using clippers to cut them off.

10.  I accepted Jesus as my Savior when I was 9 years old in Central Baptist Church.  When I was baptized the preacher had my name written on masking tape on the sleeve of his robe so he wouldn’t forget it.  That made me feel unimportant that he couldn’t remember my name.

11.  I stayed the weekends with my grandmother growing up and I loved it there.  I slept with her in her double bed and each night, we’d recite “Another day, Another dollar” and each morning, “This is the day that the Lord has made, we shall rejoice and be glad in it.”  Later I moved in with her when I was 14.

12.  I am the youngest of 4 children.  Two half-brothers that are 10 and 11 years older than me and one sister who is a couple years older than me.  I am glad to have had them in my life.  They stood up for me, supported me, and helped me so much growing up.

13.  I had to take a dog to the pound when I was 30 for snapping at my niece and I sobbed uncontrollably.  His name was Chester and he had jumped in my car one night and wouldn’t get out.  So I took him home.  I had him for about 4 years.  He was ill-mannered, but my heart broke anyway knowing he was going to die.

14.  I think cereal should be a basic food group.

15.  I moved from my hometown at the age of nearly 38 for the first time in my life, except for one year when I lived in another town for college.  The rest of my college career I took local classes or commuted over 60 miles one way.

16.  I was chosen as Teacher of the Year about 3-4 years ago.  That was a nice honor.

17.  I used to have a size 6 1/2 shoe, but since I had a baby, now it’s a size 7.

18.  I moved out of my grandmother’s house when I was a senior in high school.  My sister had a little house I lived in for a couple of months and then when my best friend came home from college at semester and decided not to go back, we got a rent house together.  I worked 2 jobs and finished high school, and turned out okay, all by the Grace of God.

19.  As I was cleaning my storage building out the other day, I found a funny certificate I’d been awarded from my high school journalism class.  I was recognized for MOST LIKELY TO BECOME A ROCKET SCIENTIST/BRAIN SURGEON.  I chuckled when I thought of the title of my blog. Who knew?

20.  I pray everyday.  Even if it’s just “Thank  you for another day.”

That’s me, in  a nutshell.