Jesus is my home-boy – Page 4

February 16, 2004

Today is February 16. Today is the day. I don’t think of it every year, the day usually passes without a thought, but today I have remembered. Seven years ago today, my 4 1/2-year-old niece was holding a puppy, singing it a song, when she was suddenly attacked by two Rottweilers. I was at work, just finishing up tutorials when I was paged to the office for a phone call. My sister-in-law told me that Ashlynn had been bitten by her dog and they were in the emergency room. Her voice was calm, and I imagined she had been bitten by a dog, needed a couple of stitches, and would go home later that night.

When I walked into the emergency room and met my sister-in-law, saw her face, and heard her words, I knew then that it wasn’t just a bite. The emergency room personnel let me go back and I entered and saw the doctors, the nurses, and my brother all around her bed. Steve, her dad, was holding her hand. Then someone moved back and I saw Ashlynn with her skinny little naked body laying on the table. She was alert. She turned her head and the first words to me were, “I’ve been dog bit.”

The Lord was in that room. I could feel him everywhere. Although the situation was very serious, the bleeding had stopped, Ashlynn was extremely calm, and a peace was upon me that I cannot explain. The nurses started pointing out the wounds to me, only when they rolled her to her side and I saw very deep bites on her lower back with tissue protruding that I felt my stomach go queasy. They were preparing her to be transported to Amarillo for surgery. The room was quiet. Suddenly a doctor grabbed my hand forcing into Ashlynn’s and urged me to talk to her and tell her she was going to be okay.

I began to get a little panicky realizing the seriousness of it all, knowing that my mother needed to be there. And as much as I should have stayed there with my niece and my brother, I needed to get out of there. So I left. I went to try to find my mom. This was before she carried a cell phone. She worked for a home health agency. I knew about 3 of her clients and where they lived, so I got in my car and drove by all their houses looking for her car. I couldn’t find her. I called my friend, asking her to pray, I called my aunt, my grannie, everyone I knew, pleading them to begin to pray. Someone found my mom and by the time I returned to the hospital, she was there and they were loading into the ambulance.

They gave Ashlynn morphine and she never slept. It had an adverse reaction and was as if she was coming out of her skin, reaching for things that weren’t there, saying bizarre hallucinating statements. Then she went into surgery. After a while, the doctor came into the waiting room and informed us that he had sewn up her front, and when he rolled her over to sew up her back, the bites were much deeper than surface level, so they needed to open her up in the front to clean and stitch the interior wounds. The dogs had nearly bitten through her. She had cuts on her intestines, kidneys, stomach, and liver. Stitching the intestines was time consuming because the doctors had to literally pull them out and unwind them to search each and every inch for wounds.

Four hours later the surgery was over and she was placed in ICU. By this time, the word had reached all four corners of our small town. When she awoke she was greeted with visitors, flowers, cards, phone calls, stuffed animals, more than anything I’ve ever seen. The nurses began to turn the visitors away. During the next 10 days of recovery, our family was showered with love. Prayer chains were active, a fund and donations were given, strangers who saw it on the news or read about it in the paper came to visit, sent her cards, gave her toys. People came daily from surrounding churches to pray for her without fail. Mankind is truly generous and good.

She’s had two other surgeries since to undo scar tissue that formed adhesions and caused unbelievable pain in her intestines.

I hate to think about what she endured. I remember her words that day in the hospital, “I need a drink. I got dirt in my mouth.” And I can’t help but picture her being dragged around the backyard by those dogs whose animal instincts were to kill.

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good.” Genesis 5o:20

The greatest act of love I’ve ever witnessed came during that time. One stranger who came to pray told me he was praying for healing of the memories. I had never heard that expression before. So much of our focus was on her body, and not her mind. Our God is so good. That prayer was answered and although she has scars to remind her, Ashlynn has no fear of dogs to this day.

Today she’s an outstanding eleven year old girl. I talked to her on the phone a while ago. She was going to jazz class and then to church, two things she loves. She was talking with her mouth full and I scolded her. She made all A’s and B’s on her report card. I think she deserves a little money for that.

I couldn’t imagine my life without her. She is a little bundle of energy, a friend to all, a hater of broth, an amazing artist, a survivor for sure.

And a testimony to our God, who is with us in the valley of the shadow of death, who brings us through trials, who saves our souls, and heals our wounds, and our memories.

To God be the glory.

Soap #2–The Old and Curmudgeonly: Sleeping Through the Storm

My little town got 8.5 inches of snow Tuesday night, and they cancelled school. And as an added bonus, we don’t have to start school until 10:00 this morning. Yippee Skippee!!

Snow days don’t come around often, and I try to enjoy them. I spend my day in lazy gear, reading, writing, facebooking, napping. My husband on the other hand, is like a fish out of water. He turns the TV on, then turns the TV off. He sits in the recliner, then sits on the couch. He lets the dogs out and lets the dogs in.

Finally, he got still long enough to sleep a little. I decided a picture of these three old dogs was in order.

He didn’t work because he took care of everything the day before.

He double-fed the cattle and put out hay, but I’m sure those cattle will be glad to see him and the cake wagon (aka the feed truck) today.

[feed+wagon.jpg]

He was prepared for the approaching storm.

It reminds me of a story I once read by an anonymous author:

Years ago a farmer owned land along the Atlantic seacoast. He constantly advertised for hired hands. Most people were reluctant to work on farms along the Atlantic. They dreaded the awful storms that raged across the Atlantic, wreaking havoc on the buildings and crops.

As the farmer interviewed applicants for the job, he received a steady stream of refusals. Finally, a short, thin man, well past middle age, approached the farmer. “Are you a good farmhand?” the farmer asked him. “Well, I can sleep when the wind blows,” answered the little man. Although puzzled by this answer, the farmer, desperate for help, hired him. The little man worked well around the farm, busy from dawn to dusk, and the farmer felt satisfied with the man’s work.

Then one night the wind howled loudly in from offshore. Jumping out of bed, the farmer grabbed a lantern and rushed next door to the hired hand’s sleeping quarters. He shook the little man and yelled, “Get up! A storm is coming! Tie things down before they blow away!” The little man rolled over in bed and said firmly, “No sir. I told you, I can sleep when the wind blows.”

Enraged by the old man’s response, the farmer was tempted to fire him on the spot. Instead, he hurried outside to prepare for the storm. To his amazement, he discovered that all of the haystacks had been covered with tarpaulins. The cows were in the barn, the chickens were in the coops, and the doors were barred. The shutters were tightly secured. Everything was tied down. Nothing could blow away. The farmer then understood what his hired hand meant, and he returned to bed to also sleep while the wind blew.

So it is with life. Can we sleep while the wind blows? Are we prepared when the storms of life arise?

There’s marital troubles, financial troubles, job troubles, relationship troubles, health troubles.

There’s pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.

Sorry. Bubba came to mind. It happens.

Here’s my SOAP for the week. It’s my new way of Bible Study. S stands for scripture, O for observation, A for application, P for prayer.

Scripture: In Luke Chapter 4, Jesus was sleeping during the windstorm.

³⁵ On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, “Let us go across to the other side.” ³⁶And leaving the crowd, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. And other boats were with him. ³⁷And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. ³⁸But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they woke him and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” ³⁹And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. ⁴⁰He said to them, “Why are youso afraid? Have you still no faith?” ⁴¹And they were filled with great fear and said to one another, “Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?”

Observation: Even the disciples who had seen Jesus do miracle after miracle were afraid during the storm. Their faith was tested, they didn’t feel prepared. They didn’t think Jesus cared about them.

Application: During storms in my own life I have cried out that same lament, “Do you not even care?” But he does. I know he cares for me. He had told the disciples to get in the boat, we’re going to the other side. He’s with us every step of our journey. Side by side, through all kinds of weather. Through the sunshine and the rain. When we give our lives to Him, ask Him to direct our steps, strive to follow Him, read His word, and pray, then we can be prepared for the storms of life. Knowing he’s in the boat with us, taking us to the other side, through the storm and all will help us feel peace.

Prayer: Dear Lord, I love you and I thank you. I thank you for my good times, and I thank you for the storms that you have seen me through. I thank you because I know that you will be with me in the storms that are inevitable. I pray that through You, I will always be prepared when the winds toss my little boat. Hide your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. Guide me on my journey. Keep me safe.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

The Old and Curmudgeonly SOAP #1

Okay guys, I recently joined up on an online Bible Study group via Facebook. There are some awesome godly ladies in this group and I’m excited about being a part of it. I have already been blessed and looking forward to future blessings. Part of the accountability of the Bible Study involves posting a SOAP. Instead of The Bold and the Beautiful, or the Young and the Restless, my soap is titled, The Old and Curmudgeonly. But really, I jest, it’s not that kind of soap. It’s a Bible study method using the SOAP acronym to help spend more time in God’s word and understand what He is saying to us. S stands for scripture that I’ve read. O stands for observations that I made while reading the scripture. A stands for application and how that scripture written many moons ago applies in my life today, and P stands for prayer which is a very personal prayer that I’m letting every one else hear.

I’ve been dilly-dallying around about this Bible study, worried about doing this on my blog, even though I do allow this blog to get all Jesus-y at times.
But we are here to please God and not man, so I pray that my weekly SOAPS will speak to you in some way.

God wants to speak to us, I know that fo’sho’. So I’m going to let Him.

I’ve been reading my Bible through in a chronological way in the order of events as they happened. So far this year I’ve read Genesis and Job, and now I’m in Exodus.

S—Scripture: Exodus 3:1-2 (The Message)Moses was shepherding the flock of Jethro, his father-in-law, the priest of Midian. He led the flock to the west end of the wilderness and came to the mountain of God, Horeb. The angel of God appeared to him in flames of fire blazing out of the middle of a bush. He looked. The bush was blazing away but it didn’t burn up.

^9-10 “The Israelite cry for help has come to me, and I’ve seen for myself how cruelly they’re being treated by the Egyptians. It’s time for you to go back: I’m sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people, the People of Israel, out of Egypt.”

^19-22 “I know that the king of Egypt won’t let you go unless forced to, so I’ll intervene and hit Egypt where it hurts—oh, my miracles will send them reeling!—after which they’ll be glad to send you off. I’ll see to it that this people get a hearty send-off by the Egyptians—when you leave, you won’t leave empty-handed! Each woman will ask her neighbor and any guests in her house for objects of silver and gold, for jewelry and extra clothes; you’ll put them on your sons and daughters. Oh, you’ll clean the Egyptians out!”

O–Observation: Moses was just hanging out being an ordinary person, doing his ordinary day-to-day job of shepherding his sheep when God appeared to him. He wasn’t anything special, just a regular ol’ Moe. God approached Moses and gave him a charge: Go to Egypt and tell Pharaoh Let My People Go! Which makes me start singing this song right here, which has some pretty awesome dancers in it as well.

And then God begins to tell him in verses 19-22 exactly, step by step, the troubles he will encounter, that God will intervene, and how it will end up when he obeys Him.

A—Application: God is all-knowing. God is ever-present. God is in-the-know. He knows our past, forgives our sins (after all Moses was a murderer), continues to love us and use us for His glory. He knows every hair on our head, and each step we are going to take. Nothing catches Him off guard. He is not surprised when life throws us a curve ball. Just like in this scripture passage, God knew that the Egyptians would not be agreeable with His plan. He knew Pharaoh’s heart would be hardened. He understood what it would take to change his mind. And it all came to pass. Just like in my life. He’s got my road map in His hand. He is directing me in the ways He wants me to go. Even when I don’t understand why events are happening or not happening, He is working behind the scenes, orchestrating my life. He will use me in my everyday life, in my job, or when I’m doing my thing, I can hear from Him.

P—Prayer: Dear Lord, help me to always trust in You. When You speak to me, help me to recognize your voice, follow your ways, acknowledge You in my life. You have my life in your hands, you are the author and finisher of my faith, your plans for me are for good and not for harm. Help me not to fear my future. Help me not to be afraid.

Sugar….bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, ah, Honey, Honey

I’ve discovered something that I want to share.

It has to do with the Bible.

And honey.

“If you find honey, eat just enough–too much of it, and you will vomit”. Proverbs 25:16 NIV

This happened to me once, and it almost happened again last night. I love honey, but eat just one teaspoonful too much and you’ll be ralphing in the flowerbed.

The Bible also says this:

“My child, eat honey, for it is good, and the honeycomb is sweet to the taste. Proverbs 24:13.

but if you look in The Message, it says it like this.

“Eat honey, dear child—-it’s good for you.”

I just love that. In our society’s search for healthy foods, nutritious choices, and apples on the McDonald’s menu, right there in the Thirty Precepts of the Sages in Proverbs in the Word of God, lies an answer.

I believe in my pea picking little brain, that our world is generously blessed with cures for many, if not all, illnesses in the form of foods, flowers, herbs, and other G0d-given gifts. Simply put, I believe there is something on this earth to cure what ails us.

Among these foods is honey. Honey has been called a super food. Raw honey is one of nature’s purest foods.

I try to remember to eat a spoonful of raw honey every day. Except for days like yesterday, when after one bite, I had another, and after a second bite, I had a third. And after a third bite I got a stomach ache, just like the Bible said I would. I did actually vomit once after eating too much honey. It just made me sick. The Bible knows. Listen to it.

What is the difference between raw honey and “regular” honey? Raw honey has nothing added or taken away. It contains pollen, propolis, honeycomb, and live enzymes. It hasn’t been heated or strained. Basically, it is honey from the hive straight to the jar. Plus, it’s way more expensive. But worth it!!

When you open a jar of raw honey, you will find a very hard, crusty, layer.

It may gross you out at first, it did me, so prepare yourself. These are called honey “cappings” and they are crunchy bits of honeycomb, pollen, and propolis. According to Wikipedia, propolis is “a resinous mixture that honey bees collect from tree buds, sap flows, or other botanical sources. It is used as a sealant for unwanted open spaces in the hive. Propolis is used for small gaps (approximately 6 millimeters (0.2 in) or less), while larger spaces are usually filled with beeswax.”

This crusty capping is hard and you have to break through it with your spoon.

The first time J-Dub looked at it he remarked, “that looks like vomit.” And then we remembered that honey is actually a form of bee vomit, something they’ve regurgitated, but you just can’t think about that! So stop, right now!

These cappings are a little hard to handle the first time you put them in your mouth, especially if you’re a texture person. My jar of honey says you can chew them like gum, and that just sorta turns my stomach. I try to mix mine up so it isn’t extremely concentrated, but after a while I got used to it.

Honey is antiseptic, antibacterial, antibiotic, and antifungal. Plus it never spoils. It has been used as a medicine since ancient times, probably way back when the Dead Sea was only sick and Moby Dick was just a minnow.

Health benefits of raw honey:

Aids stomach and digestion
Can be used on cuts, burns, wounds, and rashes
Treats allergies
Soothes coughs and sore throats
Natural source of energy

Some studies have even shown honey to contain anti-cancer and anti-tumor properties.

So sugar, what are you waiting for? Go eat some honey!

Headless Chickens Need Not Apply

Today the phrase “running around like a chicken with its head cut off” is an understatement of the millennium.

And one that I hope I never, ever witness.

I cannot bear to see this beauty without a head.

I’ll cry.

Or this one.

Have I mentioned I’m getting chickens delivered March 14th? Oh, I have? Only 3 gazillion times you say. Sorry. It’s just that I’m busting at the seams.

The next two weeks of my life are a whirlwind of busy-ness. I have been dreading these last 2 weeks of January. Some days I find myself wanting to step into a time machine and travel to February 1st, but then I’d feel compelled to push forward to March 14th, for reasons obvious. Surely.

During the next 10 days, I am going to be out of my classroom for 5 of them. Three of those days I will be learning all about Title I schools. My school is heading down the Title I path, which means that 50% or more of our student population qualifies for free or reduced lunches. We are the final campus to move this direction, all other schools in my town are already Title I, which tells you a little bit about the demographics of my little town of 17,000 people.

The other 2 days I will be out testing my second graders one by one. Three times a year, we get substitutes to teach our class while we sit individually with each student and assess their reading, writing, and spelling abilities. It is arduous on both them and me. So planning for a substitute and then catching up, to only plan for a substitute again makes me feel like a headless chicken.

Adding to these work responsibilities is this little thing called life. Cleaning house, cooking meals, being a wife, keeping up with my postaday blogging challenge, keeping up with my exercise plan and buddy I’ve already fallen behind with, remodeling a trailer house and packing and moving. I’m beat already. Finished before I started. Stick a fork in me. I’m done.

I’m sure many others can certainly relate to the busy-ness of our existence.

Today the calendar date glares at me reminding me I am two days late for the Beth Moore Scripture Memory Team. Every month, on the 1st and the 15th, we choose a verse from the Bible to memorize. Jesus used scripture when tempted by Satan. It is the sword by which we do battle.

I awoke this morning thinking of my upcoming duties, feeling the heaviness of responsibility weighing on my shoulders and my prayer was simply, “Thank you and help!”

I need refreshing. I searched for a memory verse that would tell me to come to the Lord for refreshing, to call on the Lord and he’ll give me energy to endure, to rest in the Lord, which I found and He will, but the verse that spoke to me did not tell my to lay down and rest. It did not say massages and pedicures are in full order.

Dang it.

It did not tell me to take 3 hour naps. Not even 2 hour ones.

It told me to be an active participant rather than a passive recipient of the refreshing I desperately need.

Proverbs 11:25 screamed itself at me this morning.

“A generous man will prosper, he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.”

Not exactly what I wanted to hear, but rather what I NEEDED to hear. How many times do I selfishly think to myself or worse, complain to others:

I have so much to do.

I can’t get it all done.

I’m so behind.

When rather I need to stop thinking about myself and say,

Look around.

Who needs your help today?

What can you do for someone else?

Who in your little world needs refreshing?

And then refreshing shall come.

May you find your needs met today.

Love,

Four Things

I have few things I want to share with you today.

First Thing:

We’re studying the water cycle in science up at the elementary school. You remember your second grade science class don’t you? Or has it been many moons? For a quick review, here’s a song about the water cycle sung to the tune of If You’re Happy and You Know It, Clap Your Hands.

Ready?

A one, a two, A one, two, three, four…..

Water travels in a circle, yes it does (clap, clap)

It goes up as evaporation, forms a cloud as condensation, fall to the ground as precipitation, yes it does! (clap, clap)

I was reading the Bible this morning, I am still in the book of Job. At this point a young man named Elihu is ripping into Job, tearing him a new one, putting him into his place. He’s telling him about how awesome God is, and then he says these words:

Take a long, hard look. See how great he is—-inifinite, greater than anything you could ever imagine or figure out! He pulls water up out of the sea, distills it, and fills up his rain-cloud cisterns. Then the skies open up and pour out soaking showers on everyone. Does anyone have the slightest idea how this happens?

I read that and was bamboozled. It’s the water cycle, right there…..evaporation, condensation, precipitation. I don’t know why I was so surprised to find this in the Bible. I mean, God is the creator of everything after all. What took scientists until the 16th century to learn and label with big, scientific sounding words, Elihu knew 2000-1800 years B.C. Awesome, isn’t it?

Second Thing:

I’ve never been a magazine subscriber until recently. I spent a good $50 on magazine subscriptions when we bought our Little Trailer House on the Prairie.

These magazines will teach you how to garden, can food, cook chickens, milk cows, build solar panels, bake bread, make hammocks, and asundry other very informational things. Someday I fear us younger generations are going to wish we knew how not to depend on commercialism.

Some great magazines to read if you’re wanting to learn how to live off the land and become more self-sufficient are the following:

GRIT

Mother Earth News

Hobby Farms

Mary Jane’s Farm

Today I received this new GRIT magazine in the mail from my grandmother-in-law.

We call her M.O. It’s all about turkeys.

She also sent this book home with Jason recently.

It teaches how to make home-made beer. Among other important things.

But the item that I received in the mail yesterday that made my heart go pitter-pat, was new sticky return address labels.

With my name and address of course.

But these aren’t just any old kind of return address labels.

They have pictures on them.

And not of flags either.

But farm animals.

A chicken, a cow, and a rooster.

And look at this. Doesn’t she make you want to just snuggle up with her?

I’ve never wanted a pig. Never ever.

Until now.

I can’t resist him any longer.

Help me, help me, help me.

Third Thing:

I’ve been unsubscribing to a lot of my emails lately. I click unsubscribe and a box pops up that says something like, “Thank you. You won’t be receiving any more emails from us” But then suddenly, an alert of a new email message pops up from the exact same company who just lied to me telling me I won’t be receiving any more emails from them that says, “We’re sad to see you go, would you please fill out a short survey letting us know what’s wrong.” Or “Oops, did you mean to unsubscibe from us? If it’s a mistake, please click here.” That’s a little bit annoying to me. Just needed to vent.

Fourth Thing:

I read a little snippet today that the earth’s rotation is moving in such a way that our zodiacal (if that’s even a word) signs are changing. So guess what? You may no longer be a Leo or a Sagittarius. I was a Pisces, but now I’m an Aquarius.

Don’t let it shatter your world. I think it was just a bunch of drunk on home-made beer farmers that decided it.

Job 19:25

I’m reading the Bible chronologically. I’m following a reading plan found here www.bibleplan.org/ch/niv Did you know that Job lived before Abraham?

This morning I sat down with my cup of coffee and my Bible to listen to Job whine a bit. As if he didn’t have much to whine about it. His entire family was killed, he lost everything, and then he was stricken with sores and illness. And while he was down, his so-called friends came and kicked him.

But during all of his suffering, he remains committed to God. And as he suffered through this time and longed for death, he claims in chapter 19, verse 25, “I know my redeemer lives.”

This song blessed me to tears today. May it bless you too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9p4G2GbPYQA

I know my redeemer lives.

Continue reading “Job 19:25”

I am a sheep.

I’m participating in the Beth Moore scripture something-or-other team. I love Beth Moore. Do you know her? She is one of my spiritual gurus. A brilliant woman who walks with Christ and is right there with me on my level. She’s uncovered and explained many issues in my walk with God through books, Bible studies, and her blog. You can read about this scripture memorization thingamajigger over at http://blog.lproof.org

Basically she challenges us to memorize 24 scriptures during the year. Two a month. That’s pretty do-able. To participate, you pick a verse that is relevant to where you are right then in your life. If you don’t have one, you can always use the one she posts. I didn’t know what verse to choose, until Sunday when I experienced a crisis of faith.

I got a notion to visit someone in the hospital this past weekend. I don’t really know why, it’s not something I regularly do. The person in the hospital is not someone whom I hang out with, or talk with on the phone. We’ve never gone for ice cream or pedicures, she’s just someone I sort of know. An acquaintance really. But I got a strange feeling I should visit her.

I don’t know how you feel about hearing from God, or if you even believe He speaks to us at all, but I do and I try to remain open to His voice. I believe He works in small and mysterious ways. I know His plans are good for me, and I don’t want to miss out on something He has in store. So I considered this might be God talking to me and decided to be obedient, despite the awkwardness of it.

So after dinner (which means lunch) on Sunday, I drove my husband and niece home and was on my way to the store to get a flower or something for the patient. “But first”, I told myself, “I need to get on facebook and check her wall to see if she’s still in the hospital. I’d hate to waste my time and be embarrassed at the nurse’s station if she’s no longer there.”

“Nope”, another voice told me. “Now you’re doubting God. If He told you to visit, then go visit, don’t question it.”

So I ran into the store and got something for her and went to the hospital. I didn’t know what room she was in, but from past hospital visitation experiences, everyone usually winds up on the third floor. I got off the elevator, stepped up to the nurse’s station, with the plant and asked for her room number. And you’ll never believe it. But she had been released that morning. Hmmmm? Was God talking to me after all?

Okaaayyyyy. Now what do I do? Maybe I’ll run it by her house even though I have no idea where she lives. So I got back on the elevator, stepped onto the first floor to go to my car and something stopped me. I stood in the foyer outside the elevator and felt extremely led to give the plant in my arms to someone hospitalized who maybe hadn’t had a visitor. A lonely old person perhaps? Surely, there’s lonely people in the hospital. Hmmmmm? Now was this God speaking to me? Maybe I needed to minister to someone in need? Maybe I’m at this hospital for someone I’m unaware of.

So in an attempt to be obedient, once again I got back in the elevator, returned to the third floor, walked up to the nurse’s station and asked if there might be someone on that floor who could use a visitor and a plant. The nurses look at the wall of patient’s names and room numbers, consider their patients, and slowly shake their heads. Seems like everyone is doing just fine and dandy.

Alrighty then. So now what? I guess I’ll just keep the dern plant for myself.

I got back in the elevator to leave.

And I cried.

I stood in the elevator alone and cried.

Not because the person I went to see wasn’t in the hospital anymore.

Not because I spent money on a plant that no one needed.

Not even because the nurses couldn’t help me find ONE SINGLE PERSON to brighten their day.

But because, right then and there, alone in an elevator, it became blatantly apparent to me that I don’t recognize the voice of God, obviously.

And then the other VOICE came. The bad VOICE. The one who speaks defeat and negativity to my soul. It makes me doubt, causing confusion, fear and self-loathing. It twisted itself around my head and my heart and caused me to think, “How do I know if I have ever heard God’s voice? I didn’t today when I thought I had on three different occasions. Which only means, all those other times in my life, all those instructions, all those thoughts that I felt were God’s way of directing me, that was probably just indigestion or something.

I’m probably married to the wrong person, living in the wrong town, working at the wrong job, and going to the wrong church. How am I to know really?”

Which leads to the scripture I’ve chosen for my first memorization of 2011. It is John 10:27 which states,

“My sheep hear my voice. I know them, and they follow me.”

I know I am not a lost sheep.

I know I have a shepherd.

He laid down his life for me, just as the shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.

He protects me from the wolves who wish to cause me harm.

He leads me so I do not go astray.

And I long to hear his voice.

Moses and me

There’s only one more day left in 2010.

How did you fare (or fair?) on your 2010 resolutions?

Me? I don’t remember all that I resolved to do and I can’t find where I wrote them down. That should tell you how successful I was.

I read a quote the other day that said, “May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s Resolutions.”

One resolution that I know I did not keep was to blog 15 times a month. Colossal fail.

I did manage to keep 2 of my resolutions that I remember. Man, I wish I could find that paper I wrote them all down on.

The two resolutions I remember making are:

1. Run a 1/2 marathon—I was able to complete a 1/2 marathon, which does not make me a runner. I wogged (walked/jogged) a half-marathon, and I have no intentions of doing that again.

2. Read the Bible in a year—-I’ve almost completed it. I downloaded a schedule from http://www.Bible-Reading.com to keep me on track. However, it did not keep me on track and I have found myself reading 23 1/2 hours a day the past 3 or 4 days to try to complete my resolution.

I’ve been spending much time in the Word and even though I pray for a Message to leap off the page to me, I find myself simply reading words and not understanding how they apply to me in today’s world, 2010. Anyone else? I’m almost finished with the whole thing, only 45 more chapters to go!!! Later today I plan on reading Nehemiah and tomorrow finish up with Esther and Revelation. I do love Esther. Probably my favorite book of the Bible. Have you read it?

Today I wrapped up my time with Moses. Moses is dead, isn’t that a shocker? It’s silly, I’ve spent so much time with him lately, that I got teary when he died today. He worked so hard leading the people to The Promised Land and yet, he himself, didn’t get to enter. I grieve over that. I know that he has seen a much more plentiful, beautiful place, but I’m sad because I don’t really understand what he and Aaron did that was so bad to deserve that punishment. I imagine him going to the top of the mountain God tells him to climb to see it with his eyes, but that he cannot enter. I imagine his tears, his remorse, his sadness, his regret. We’re told that he can’t enter the land promised because of what happened at the Waters of Meribah. It was there the people of Israel had been grumbling like they always did because there was no water to drink, which seems like a good reason to grumble to me. They take up their case with Moses as always saying why did you bring us out here to die, we should have just stayed slaves in Egypt. We’d be better off there. It tells us in Numbers 20 that Moses and Aaron threw themselves facedown before God asking for help for the people.

Here is what God tells them to do: “Take the staff. Assemble the community, you and your brother Aaron. Speak to that rock that’s right in front of them and it will give water. You will bring water out of the rock for them; congregation and cattle will both drink.”

And here is what they did:

v. 9 Moses took the staff away from God’s presence, as commanded. He and Aaron rounded up the whole congregation in front of the rock. Moses spoke: “Listen, rebels! Do we have to bring water out of this rock for you?”

v. 11 With that Moses raised his arm and slammed his staff against the rock—once, twice. Water poured out. Congregation and cattle drank.

And then they got in trouble by God. God told them because they didn’t trust Him and show Him reverence before the people that they couldn’t enter the land promised to them.

I’m confused. To me ( pagan sinful me) they followed orders. Which is quite frightening to know how badly I’m to be judged for the things I’ve done. I do not understand what they did wrong. Was it because they took credit for the water and did not give the glory to the Lord, or is because he hit the rock twice instead of speaking to it like he was told?

In Exodus 17 it says he was told to strike the rock.

So anyway, I’m left with questions. Moses is dead. He did not get to enter the Land flowing with milk and honey. Joshua will lead the people. But with all this bad news, here is a good part.

Moses left the people with this blessing. With 2011 approaching, I carry this blessing of the Lord with me as I journey into my new land. I hope you do too. I pray our nation will also.

If you listen obediently to the Voice of God, your God, and heartily obey all his commandments that I command you today, God, your God, will place you on high, high above all the nations of the world. All these blessings will come down on you and spread out beyond you because you have responded to the Voice of God, your God:

God’s blessing inside the city,

God’s blessing in the country;

God’s blessing on your children,

the crops of your land,

the young of your livestock,

the calves of your herds,

the lambs of your flocks,

God’s blessing on your basket and bread bowl;

God’s blessing in your coming in,

God’s blessing in your going out.

God will lavish you with good things; children from your womb, offspring from your animals, and crops from your land, the land that God promised your ancestors that he would give you. God will throw open the doors of his sky vaults and pour rain on your land on schedule and bless the work you take in hand. You will lend to many nations but you yourself won’t have to take out a loan. God will make you the head, not the tail; you’ll always be the top dog, never the bottom dog, as you obediently listen to and diligently keep the commands of God, your God, that I am commanding you today. Deuteronomy 28 The Message.

Did you hear that? That’s a blessing on ‘pert near everything. Everything you set your hand. He will open his sky vaults, his heavens, and rain down blessings on us if we follow his commands.

May 2011 be your best year ever!