Tag Archives: Family

6 months

Precious, darling Emma Kate,

Look at you grow, girl!  Mama doesn’t even know where to begin telling you about your very busy month. I have so much to say, so I guess instead of starting at the beginning, I’ll just start at the top.

Your hair. It has lightened up some, still brown,  and is thick on top and grows in a point like Dracula (just like my dream)but not a scary, blood thirsty Dracula, but rather a beautiful, bright-eyed smooch able baby girl Dracula.

Your teeth.  Yep, they’re there. Two shiny white pearls on bottom.  Finally.   You’ve been a dream teether, you haven’t fussed one bit, but we could feel these little suckers when you were four months old and have been waiting patiently.

With those new toofies you’ve tried some real food.

In your most humble opinion:

Rice cereal= bleck!

Peas= double bleck!

Strawberries= sour bleck! (unlike my dream)

The foods that have received an Emma stamp of approval are peaches, pears, avocado, and squash.  We’re trying to keep you away from sugar and junk food, but we did offer you a taste of frozen yogurt, but the cold surprised you so, I’m not sure which list it belongs on.

Your mouth.  It’s so sweet, and you have the best smiles to give. You are not much of a laugher, but full of grins.   You can make ma-ma, da-da, bye-bye sounds! And holy cow you are loud!  We tease you that you got that from your grandy.

Your butt.   You are sitting alone for really long periods of time, when just a couple weeks ago you were a weeble wobble on a round butt.   Now you’re an old pro.

Your Legs. They are fat!  But those thunder thighs aren’t slowing you down. You are moving and scooting! You use your elbows and one leg to pull and drag yourself around. But that left leg is like a dead man’s, just dragging around behind you.While I’ve  been typing, you have gone to the kitchen, gotten into the potatoes and onions, drug yourself  around to the fridge, then back to the potatoes.  Lazy is NOT your middle name.  You are simply amazing and are taking the world by storm.

Cankles? Yep, you got them.

Your toes.  Oh my goodness, I love to get those piggies because they taste so sweet.

That’s you from top to toes, baby girl.  You are our delight. It has been so much fun loving you the last six months. Gosh, you’ll never know how adored you are. I mean that. Completely, Totally, Altogether, Absolutely ADORED and LOVED from top to bottom.

You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, my dear one.  I love you!!

XOXO,

Mama

 

 

Outside

Our baby girl loves it outside.

No matter the mercury reading, she hasn’t learned to complain about the heat yet.

 

We haven’t cut her hair to look like a mohawk on it’s way to growing out, it’s just the way her hair, well is growing out.  Possibly one of the reasons she’s mistaken for a boy frequently.

The chickens are as curious about her as she is of them.  But everyone’s on their best behavior so far.  No pecking or feather pulling have occurred.

I just love everything about her.  The birth mark on her forehead that reminds me of Australia, those lovely long eyelashes framing her deep brown eyes, the way she smells like “outside” after only a few minutes.  But heck, so do I.  Even the little skinned place beside her nose where her fingernails got her.

Oh, and I mustn’t forget  her two brand spanking new pearly whites.

In Memory of my dad—number forty something

The green spiraled journal draws me in.

It belonged to my dad.

The very first thing I bought when I became an adult was a storage building.  It sits on my mom’s property (once upon a time it was my grandmother’s property) and my dad put a few boxes of belongings in there nearly twenty years ago.   In one of the boxes was this journal.

On the cover he has printed:
The Journals of Robert Lee—-soldier, statesman, author.

It is filled with his thoughts, his hopes, his disappointments, his memories.
Stuffed between the written pages he has a few cards from loved ones, pictures of my sister and I, and bills from the IRS.

I love this journal, although it is mostly sad.  He wrote when he was going through a very difficult time, of which I was completely unaware, but heck I was a kid then, barely out of high school, and completely wrapped up in my own life.

I discover that I didn’t really know my dad.  But who really did?

He hurt more than I know, and I don’t mean physically.

Today is the 15th of April, 1996.  Tax Time for most folks, but to me it is different.   Today I join the ranks of the homeless.  I haven’t learned a lot in my 53 short years aboard this planet, but I’ve learned this, we are just a short journey from this predicament that I find myself in right now.  It’s a feeling that I don’t wish on friend or foe, but I’ll come out of the water bushed and gasping of air, out of breath and hoping for a low hanging limb from which this wrecked body needs just a minute to catch it’s breath.  Then I’ll fight onward, searching for new friends, looking in familiar haunts for a few old compatriots, who’ll say—welcome ol’ shoe, come sit awhile and rest.

April 18, 1996—
It’s not good being homeless, but I have been getting reacquainted with my mother.  Before I was always in a  hurry when I went to see her, but now we are taking the time to talk to each other.  Today we spoke of my grandparents, the last who died in 1975.  I wish that I could have gotten to know them.

As I reread this journal, no as I pore over his words, I get the “missing my dad blues”.   The “If only’s”  The “I wish”.  It doesn’t help that its a rainy day in July either.  Much like my dad wrote on the page he titled, “July or is it June 27?”

I moved into my new digs yesterday.  Went to the store and bought boloney and beer.  It’s a cloudy, dismal day, in fact I’ll call this place “The Dismal Swamp”  It’s a dump, held together with spit n’ glue, but at least the neighbor’s are nice—which means that they don’t bother me or even come out of their own hovels.  I’m into Charles Bukowski, poet, short stories, novels, drinker extraiordinairre.  Life is good as we let it be.

He was phenomenal with the written word.
Dawn comes on a silvery black flash that gently turns to a pale blue as the sun makes it’s ascent into the morning sky.  Departure time is steadily approaching and I feel a twinge of excitement as the clock ticks onward toward the time of making my exit.  My brother warned me about this happening, he said, “don’t let one year turn into ten” when I first moved here for just a year.  Well, June marks the 10 year span that I’ve spent here in Green Country.  I can see the changes here in Okla.  that have occurred since coming here.  Mainly, traffic flow, the driving here is atrocious.  But that does not take from  the few close friends that I have made here.  I’ll always appreciate them.

He was funny.
“Guess I’ll go by leon’s house and see if he wants to go fishing with me n’ doc tomorrow—-it is the fourth of July and we do live in the bosom of democracy, so why not fish.  Uh Oh.  Outta beer.  So I’ll take to task the advice of my ol’ mentor and friend, Horace Greely—-Go West—-about 2 miles—–the have Busch on sale.” 

11-19-96
Keeping a journal and trying to keep sounding interesting is so boring.

Yes, dad I agree with that one whole heartedly!  He continues…..

My life is boring, but the mundane way of life is peaceful.  Living quiet has it’s own reward.

He got lonesome and had regrets.

Nov. 24, 1996
I dreamed of Jo and Angel night before last.  They were small and cuddly and we laughed and played.  I awoke all discombobulated and out of sync.  It’s good to dream old dreams.  I miss the girls so much.  I hope Angel is doing all right out there in the west.  She is so private it’s hard to find out anything from her.  Joley has John so I don’t worry about her so much.  Joley is my little mother.  I know that she will see to it that I am taken care of.  I hope that I never need it tho.  I’m sorry now that I didn’t know how to love the girls’ mother.  Hindsight has perfect vision.  But I just didn’t know, and for that I am sorry. 

Jan. 13, 1997
I’m lonesome and being broke don’t help.  I’d visit an axe murderer if he’d stop by my digs. 

Although these notes are sad and some remorseful, I receive peace when I read them.  I know how much my dad loved me.  There was never a time I doubted that.  He wrote of it many times.  His heart was full of love.

I am the proud father of 4 children.  Two boys and two girls.  How this mixed blessing came about, I’m not exactly sure.  It just came at me out of the blue, kinda like a fighter with a good left hook.

I also receive comfort knowing I’ll see him again.

Feb 7th or 8th
I know God is my friend and I hope he lets me hang around for a few years.

Thanks God for the years.

There’s more.  There’s lots more.  But I’ll leave you with that for now.  I don’t think my old pop would mind me sharing this.  It helps me, and I know there are family and friends who miss him terribly.  I hope it helps them too.  Sometimes we just want to hear from our loved ones one more time and this is the way that I do that.  When I read these words, I hear his voice.  I see the twinkle in his eye.  I see him throw his head back when he thought something was funny,  yet keeping his laugh inside and quiet.

I see him in my baby girl too, little bits of him.  There are times I wish he could see her, but then I remember…..I’m pretty sure they’ve already met.

5 months

My sweet and precious Emma Kate,

Today you are 5 months old.  I’ve known this day was coming, but it just doesn’t seem possible.

I look at you and I can’t believe it.  That sweet tiny baby has morphed into a bundle of fun, with a  big grin and a bit of a mischievous nature I believe.  Your daddy keeps saying you’re turning into a little person.  A little person full of personality and curiosity.

We enjoy every minute of you.  Even the 3 a.m. ones.  Even the  “somebody better do something to fix my problem” crying ones.  Even the “I think I’ll go to the bathroom since you already have my diaper off” ones.

Your good moments completely outweigh the tougher times.  You play with your toys for a really long time.  Sometimes you get frustrated when you can’t reach your favorite toy, but you don’t give up easily.  You have a determined spirit about you, which I think is a good quality.  Later, we’ll likely call it stubbornness, which you’ll come by honestly since both your daddy and I possess it as well.

I quit my job so I can be a stay at home mom with you.  I don’t think we’ve been separated since the end of May.  We spend our days playing, singing, reading, eating, sleeping, and having some outside time which is your favorite.  Some days we go to town to visit or run errands, but not too much, because mama is a homebody.

You love feet, and it doesn’t really matter whose they are.  You learned how to get your piggies into your mouth this month and boy how good they must taste!  Really, it’s quite an accomplishment considering those fat rolls on your thighs.  My goodness, you’re cute!  You’re absolutely perfect.  At your last check up (when you had to get those mean shots) you weighed in at 14 pounds 10 ounces, 24 3/4 inches long, and your head was 16 inches.

You’ve got some pretty big brains in there, I think.  You’re smart Emma Kate.  There are things you do, that others may think are a fluke or accidental, but mama doesn’t think so.  I swear you know how to play peek a boo.  You pull a burp cloth or a small blanket up over your face and wait for us to say “Where’s Emma?” and then you pull it down to see us.  You do this again and again.  You give mama kisses on the cheek with that wide open mouth and you go in for Eskimo kisses with your Grandy.  You know that when you press down on that little green button the wipes will open up and you can try to eat them.

Bath time is a blast.  You’ve outgrown those little baby baths so you are a big girl in the tub these days.  And boy do you make a splash, literally.  You kick those feet like mad and splash water until it hits you in the face and slows you down a bit.

Sleeping is getting better.  This month, I’ve tried out a new method I read about on the internet called the E.A.S.Y method.  You eat, then you have activity time, and then when I notice you are getting drowsy, I’ll hold you with your binky for just a little while till your eyes are heavy, then I put you in your bed and you go right to sleep.  Usually.  You like to put a little blanket over your head.  I gave you a soft blanket to hold onto, and when I went back to check on you, you were sound asleep with it over your face.  Now, that’s just what you do.  Going to sleep works just fine, it’s just staying asleep that you don’t care for.  But you’re getting better.

You were dedicated to the Lord on June 3rd at Briarwood Church and received your very first little pink Bible and a certificate.  All the congregation reached out their hands to you as the pastor prayed God’s protection and guidance over your life.  He also made me tell the story of how a man in the church told me you were coming years ago, but I thought he was crazy.  

We had your pictures made this month with all your cousins on my side of the family.  Your aunt Jolea and your cousins Hannah and Zoie came to visit.  It was the first time H & Z had ever seen you, so we gathered up your cousins Harley and Maxx as well and went to daddy’s work to have pictures made.  They’re going to make Grandy a nice birthday present in a few days.

We also had your pictures made by yourself.

The doctor said we can start you on some rice cereal if we want, and start trying some other foods.  So mommy jumped the gun and gave you a taste of avocado instead!  You liked that for  a little bit, but not for long.  I’ve also given you tastes of strawberry, cantaloupe, and asparagus!  Mostly you shuddered and got this awful look on your face.  So we’re still waiting on the whole eating thing.

I hope I’m capturing everything I can about your little life honey.  You are our little joy. Your daddy and I want to do the best we can for you.  There will be times that we fail miserably I know.  We’re going to have bad times along with the good on this ride.  I want you to have  good memories of your childhood with us.  I want you to always know you’re loved deeply by us, grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, friends, and mostly by Jesus.  It’s incomprehensible that He loves you more than I do, but He does.  My love for you pales in comparison.

I’m so happy to have you, baby of mine.

XOXO,

Mommy

4 months

Dearest Emma Kate,

Happy 4 month birthday baby!!

Oh my gosh, you are so fun!  Here lately, it seems like everyday you are learning new things.

You started out this month rolling over for Janelle, your babysitter.  You did it three times in a row, from your belly (which you have learned to accept a bit more) to your back.  She got it on video which is a good thing, since no one else has ever seen you do it.  It was as if you decided you accomplished that, so you were moving on to bigger and better things.  Which of course is spitting.

You discovered you can stick your tongue out of your mouth, and that if you blow out while your tongue is out, you can produce lots and lots of spit bubbles.

Also, it’s been decided by your Grandy and a few others that you are teething, and yes, in fact there is a sharp little tooth on bottom that we can feel.  And then it goes away.  And then it comes back.  Then it goes away.  It can’t quite decide what it wants to do.  It hasn’t bothered you too badly, you mostly are just chewing away on anything you can get in your mouth and slobbering a bunch.  Grandy wants me to write it in the baby book, but I think I’ll wait until I can actually see it.

 

Just 2 days ago, you rolled from your back to your belly.  It’s your new favorite thing to do.  Quite frankly, you are wearing your mama out with it because you don’t remember how to roll from your belly to your back.  So, you get on your belly, act mighty proud of yourself, think it’s fun for about 1 minute, then you start to fuss when you can’t figure out how to get out of that predicament.  So I put you back on your back, just so you can roll over, act proud, then fuss some more.  Back when I was a little girl, there was a “Say no to drugs” ad campaign.  I remember a commercial on TV of a man walking around the perimeter of an empty white room.  He would say, “I work, so I can make money, so I can buy cocaine, so I can work, so I can make money, so I can buy cocaine, so I can work…….”  Here’s my version of your commercial.  “Mama lays me on my back, so I can roll on my belly, so I can cry, so Mama lays me on my back, so I can roll on my belly, so I can cry……”  Yep, Emma Kate, that’s how we spend our days until I say “ENOUGH!” and put you in your swing for awhile.

You’ve had such a busy month.  You took your first outing with dad to check cows, and you went to your first ranch rodeo with dad and stayed out until 1:00 in the morning!!!  I’m sure those cowboys just couldn’t get enough of you! You also attended your first birthday party.

You have learned how to laugh and it is music to our ears.

Just today you discovered our cowdog Grace.  You’ve met her before, but hadn’t really noticed her until now.  She’s kind of a crydoggy when she gets all excited when humans are around.  Oh boy, you thought her crying was hysterical.  You were laughing up a storm at that silly doggy.  So of course we encourage it.  You love outdoors and animals, and I have a feeling your going to be a mover and a shaker.  Only time will tell as your personality peeks out more and more.

Emmer, (that’s what your daddy has taken to calling you, which is pretty neat since your Great Grandpa called your Great Grandma Imogene that as well), you are the light of our life,

the twinkle in our eye,

the jump in our jack,

the blue in our sky.

Today your daddy said you are probably the most loved child in the world.  There might come a day that you don’t feel loved at all, because we all experience those feelings from time to time.  Please know our love for you is big.  So big.  Huge big.  Bigger than Hog Eyes and Sauerkraut Mississippi.  That’s a game me and your grandpa used to play.  I can’t wait to teach it to you.

I look forward to this next month Emma, because in just 3 days, school will end and more time with you will begin.

XOXO,

Mama

First Day on the Job with Daddy

Yesterday, EK went to work with J-Dub.  He’s breaking her in young.  He documented their day with pictures.

Driving lessons in the feed truck.
Someone has to get the gate.
Daddy and Emma counting cows.
There’s dinner……and I don’t mean steak.
Closing the gate.

Feeding G.G.
feeling the grass with her footsies for the first time.
Relaxing in the wildflowers after a long day’s work.

3 months

My Dearest, Darling Emma Kate,

You’re growing up much too quickly.  You’re no longer a tiny little baby but a whooping 12 pound 6 ounce three-month old.

I’ve had to put away your little newborn sized clothes, and it nearly broke my heart.  I can’t believe how tiny you used to be.   You’ve almost outgrown some of your 0-3 months already!  Slow down!

You are holding your head up mighty fine these days and you like sitting up big and tall and looking around the world.  You are tolerating your tummy time much better and will last about 3 minutes instead of 20 seconds before starting to complain.

You are reaching and grabbing now.  You hold onto my shirt while nursing, you hold on to your clothes if you can get them.  You try to help put your pacifier in your mouth, which I think you are becoming much too fond of, by the way!  You’ve started grabbing fistfuls of my hair and I have to pry your little hand loose. I’m careful not to wear dangly earrings around you for fear of the pain you may cause when you grab ahold  and yank.

You love the book “Pete the Cat. I Love My White Shoes”.

 

It makes you grin big, as do many other things.  You are quite the smiler these days and your smiles melt our hearts.  Especially when you give that bashful one where you close your eyes and duck your head.  So cute!!!

You are drooling like crazy and sucking on your fingers and fists so much you’ve sucked little red places on your knuckles.

This has been a big month for you.  I had to go back to work when you were almost 11 weeks old and you began staying with a babysitter every day.  You’ve tolerated that so well.   I think of you all day long while I’m working and can’t wait until 4:00 to get my hands on you again.  I’m looking so forward to when school’s out so we can be together all day again.

You are my everything, little one.  Words cannot describe the love I feel for you.  Always know this.  Always know how much you are loved, no matter what.

XOXO,

Mommy

I feel like whining

T minus 10 hours before the clock tolls April 13th. The day I dread. The day I must return to work and leave my baby with a sitter. The diaper bag is packed with everything possibly needed from a change of clothes to a snot sucker. The bottles of pumped breast milk are made with me having not a clue if it’s too much or not enough.

I know she’ll be fine.
I know I’m not the only mother that has ever walked this path.
But it doesn’t make it any easier.
It’s only 7 weeks. That’s what I keep telling myself. 33 days till summer vacation.
But it doesn’t make it any easier.

I have relished the past eleven weeks. Basked in the time I’ve had to hold her and nurse her. Rock her and nap with her. Play with her and love her.

It’s only 7 weeks. 33 days.

But still this mama’s heart is sad.

A Better World

I  think I’m officially a mommy blogger, as all my posts of late center around my baby.

But how can you blame me?  She has yet to lose that new baby smell as my husband jokingly says.

She is my obsession.
She will always be my obsession.

She is sleeping in my arms as I type, and oh, if only you could smell her!  She’s scrubbed clean, dressed for church, and doesn’t smell like sour milk.  Who knows if we’ll actually make it to church.  It’s so easy to hold her and let the minutes tick past, as if there is nothing more important than this.  Is there?

I find myself struggling with that very thing.  I must now make a conscious effort to find balance, especially in other relationships. I must give my loved ones some attention too.  They’re being neglected I feel.

A mother is a true servant to her children, sacrificing her time, food, showers, make-up, and all kinds of other previously thought important things to meet the needs of her babies.  We are called to be servants to everyone, just as Jesus Christ came to be a servant o all.  If only I could show love to every human being I encounter as much as I show love to this baby in my arms.  After all, isn’t love “action” rather than “feeling”?

I challenge myself to this greater love for others and it is HARD for me.  But I desperately need the world to be a better place for this darling girl to grow up in.  We CAN make a difference in someone’s life.  Let’s all try, okay?

For her.
And all the others.